Why Wanting to Be Happy May Backfire

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 7 December 2021

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Happiness, as one client shared, is like the carrot at the end of a stick, and you’re holding the stick. The more effort you take in trying to reach the carrot, the further it gets from you. In today’s episode, Tony discusses the article “Can Wanting to Be Happy Backfire?” by Emily C. Willroth Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-health-connection/202104/can-wanting-be-happy-backfire?collection=1169468 (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-health-connection/202104/can-wanting-be-happy-backfire?collection=1169468) and he then spends some time discussing the 6 Core Principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) from Dr. Russ Harris’ book “ACT Made Simple” https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Made-Simple-Easy-Read/dp/1684033012/ (https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Made-Simple-Easy-Read/dp/1684033012/%C2%A0)With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch), you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com (http://pathbackrecovery.com/) And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com/) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ (https://descript.com/?lmref=v95myQ)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, oh, oh, oh, come on and take a seat on the virtual couch.
0:26.2	Hey everybody, welcome to episode 298 of the virtual couch.
0:28.5	I'm your host, Tony Overbay, and welcome aboard.
0:30.5	We're going to get started right away.
0:35.7	I was sent an article, it was probably two or three weeks ago, and it was one that I've had on my mind quite a bit and I have
0:37.7	been wanting to get to this episode. It's an episode that we're going to talk a little bit more
0:41.4	about happiness and we're going to get to an acceptance and commitment therapy principle called
0:46.3	the choice point. And the choice point is something that I have wanted to talk about for a very
0:51.4	long time and there have been so many times where I pulled up notes that I
0:55.2	want to talk about with regard to choice point. And then I just get distracted. And I think I will do it
1:00.8	later. I literally do the concept of experiential avoidance. I kick the can down the road. But today,
1:06.1	the can is being kicked no longer because this is such an important principle. And I think it
1:10.4	addresses this
1:11.3	article that a listener had sent me. So the article is from psychology today. And the article says,
1:17.0	can wanting to be happy backfire? And the article is from psychology today. And it's by Emily Willroth,
1:23.5	a PhD. And it was posted back in April of 2021. And I love the subheading. It says,
1:29.2	why wanting to feel happy might paradoxically lead you to feel less happy, which is something
1:33.6	that I allude to in so many podcasts. And it really is a principle, a core principle underlying
1:39.6	a lot of the things that I love about acceptance and commitment therapy. So if you haven't
1:44.0	heard of acceptance and commitment therapy, So if you haven't heard of
1:44.4	acceptance and commitment therapy or if it's been a little while or if you hear me talk often about it,
1:48.9	we're going to dig in a little bit deep today and give you some of the principles of acceptance
	...

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