If you think about commitment as the elimination of alternatives, well, then that makes sense that if you could eliminate all alternatives, that you will stay on the path that you're currently on, whether it's marriage, whether it's business, you just eliminate all alternatives.

That's another shot, you're committed.

And then low expectations, which is like, okay, you're committed here.

Maybe you don't get married, but then you can either change reality or or lower expectations so then

you just have low expectations and you're not going anywhere reason you're dissatisfied is because

you want things you don't have and you are unhappy with the trades that you've made but you want to keep the things you got from making those trades and then also retrade whatever it is that you gave to get what you've got for something else without accepting the downsize and trades of getting that thing.

And so I was having this conversation with, you know, a friend of

mine who's kind of in this, his dating period of life trying to figure out, you know, who's

going to marry and whatnot. And he sends me these very long, you know, voice notes and, and text

messages about how it's like, should I, you know, should I have a stay at home mom type wife, a wife

who's like, you know, career oriented or should I try and have somebody who would work with me?

And he's just going through this, this whole, you know, rigamarole.

And he's struggled with this for a while.

And fundamentally, it comes down to this, which is that he wants everything.

And I'm not just saying this about him.

I'm saying this about us, about all of us, right?

It's like we want it all. And one of the key formulas for getting dissatisfied with life is

wanting everything with limited resources in terms of time, energy, effort, life in order to get

them. And so I see this key thing, myself included here, that I'll do

sometimes where I'll get something that I want. And then I'll look at something else that's a

different path and be like, I want that too. But we used up the same resource to get it.

It's like, if you have gas in the car and you're like, well, I've got one tank worth of gas. well I want to go to Orange County too and say well you're in Toledo you know what I mean like you made

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