Why venting doesn’t help you deal with anger | Jennifer Parlamis
TED Health
TED
4.0 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 6 January 2026
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Does venting actually help you cool off, or does it just add fuel to the fire? Social psychologist Jennifer Parlamis busts common myths about anger, showing how curiosity — not catharsis — can keep you calm. Discover the surprising science behind anger management and four practical tools for building stronger relationships from a researcher who’s rethinking Freud, one deep breath at a time.
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| 0:00.0 | This is TED Health, a podcast from TED and I'm your host, Dr. Shoshana Ungerleiter. |
| 0:05.3 | It's the beginning of a new year. |
| 0:08.2 | And whether you're someone who loves New Year's resolutions or rolls your eyes at them, |
| 0:13.0 | there's a good chance you've already had at least one quiet conversation with yourself |
| 0:17.4 | that goes something like this. |
| 0:19.6 | This year, I'm really going to stick with it. |
| 0:22.4 | Stick with the workout plan. |
| 0:24.0 | Stick with the meditation app. |
| 0:25.9 | Stick with the ambitious goal that you've been carrying around for a while now. |
| 0:30.0 | Because somewhere along the way, we absorbed a very clear message about health and success. |
| 0:35.3 | Persistence is good. |
| 0:37.3 | Quitting is bad. And if something isn't working, |
| 0:39.9 | the solution is probably more discipline. That idea is so deeply ingrained that we rarely even |
| 0:45.6 | question it. We celebrate grit. We admire people who never give up. We tell ourselves that |
| 0:52.0 | abandoning a goal says something uncomfortable about our |
| 0:55.5 | character. And that's exactly why today's episode felt like the right moment to launch a new |
| 1:01.1 | segment we're introducing this year on TED Health. It's called, at least for now, |
| 1:06.1 | what caught my attention. About once a month or whenever interesting health news breaks, I'll bring you something from the world of health that stopped me in my attention. About once a month or whenever interesting health news breaks, I'll bring you something |
| 1:12.7 | from the world of health that stopped me in my tracks. A study, a trend, a headline that made me |
| 1:18.8 | curious, and maybe a little suspicious too. And instead of just passing on by it, I'm going to do a |
| 1:25.0 | deep dive into the evidence, how it's reported, and most |
| 1:28.2 | importantly, what this means for real people trying to live healthier lives. The thing that |
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