Why They Can't Love You Fully: The Truth About Spouses With Childhood Trauma
Lisa A Romano Breakdown to Breakthroughs
Lisa A. Romano
4.8 • 805 Ratings
🗓️ 28 July 2025
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Are you constantly hurt by a spouse who struggles to prioritize you?
Do they avoid setting boundaries with their parents—even when it damages your marriage?
If your partner was raised in a toxic or emotionally immature home, their nervous system may have been wired for survival—not connection. That early programming can lead to deep-rooted abandonment wounds, emotional shutdown, and a fear of conflict that puts your relationship at risk.
In this episode of Breakdown to Breakthrough, Breakthrough Life Coach and creator of The Conscious Healing Academy, Lisa A. Romano, unpacks the hidden trauma behind emotionally unavailable partners and explores why some spouses can't put their significant other first—despite their best intentions.
You'll learn:
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Why your spouse might feel safer pleasing their parents than protecting your marriage
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How unhealed childhood trauma impacts adult intimacy and emotional prioritization
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The subconscious fears that drive people to abandon their partner to avoid being rejected themselves
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What you can do to begin shifting this painful dynamic in a healthy way
👉 Ready to start healing the patterns that keep you stuck?
Explore Lisa's 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program:
Healing Starts Here
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Breakdown to Breakthrough, the podcast that empowers you to transform your life |
| 0:04.8 | by awakening to your true authentic self. I'm Lisa A. Romano, your host, as an award-winning author |
| 0:10.6 | and certified life coach, I've dedicated my life to helping others understand the incredible |
| 0:16.0 | power of an organized mind. I believe that true empowerment begins with awakening to our false self. |
| 0:23.2 | I created the Conscious Healing Academy, a three-part coaching and brain retraining program designed |
| 0:28.6 | to help individuals triumph over trauma and turn the breakdowns into powerful breakthroughs. |
| 0:34.5 | My mission is to support you on your journey toward mental and emotional |
| 0:38.6 | regeneration through conscious and deliberate awakening. In this podcast, I'll share insights, |
| 0:44.5 | tools, and transformative stories that will illuminate the path to healing and self-discovery. |
| 0:50.4 | So you believe that you have attracted someone who comes from a toxic home. |
| 0:56.2 | You believe, and maybe even your partner believes, that they have come from a dysfunctional home. |
| 1:02.8 | So let's start off with understanding what is a dysfunctional home. |
| 1:07.8 | A dysfunctional home that is void of what a child needs on a consistent basis |
| 1:13.9 | to grow a healthy sense of self. So what is a child need? A child needs to feel seen, not just, |
| 1:22.9 | hey, Johnny, good job. You can tie your shoes. A child needs to feel seen from the inside out. |
| 1:30.8 | The eyes with the windows to the soul. So when a child looks into mommy's eyes, that child should not see a |
| 1:39.3 | blank stare, cold eyes, or disinterest. |
| 1:45.0 | A child should connect with a sense that the person staring back at me really sees my soul. |
| 1:55.0 | And a child can feel that because children are naturally connected to the emotional side of life or |
| 2:05.0 | their emotional body. They're not all up in their mental body. They're tied up in their |
| 2:11.6 | emotional body and they guide life with their emotional body. So a child needs to feel seen like his or her emotions matter. |
| 2:22.6 | And this has to be consistent. It can't be that mommy is available on Monday and then she goes out |
... |
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