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The Dr. Leaf Show

Why So Many Women Feel They're Never Enough — Elise Loehnen on Breaking Cultural Conditioning

The Dr. Leaf Show

Dr. Caroline Leaf

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.63.2K Ratings

🗓️ 22 October 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why do so many women feel an unspoken pressure to “be good”—to perform endless selflessness at the cost of their own identity?


In this conversation, I sit down with Elise Loehnen, author of On Our Best Behavior, to unpack the centuries-old scripts that bind women to ideals of goodness rooted in the Seven Deadly Sins. We’ll explore the neuroscience behind identity formation, why reputation feels like survival, and how to break free without burning bridges.


What you’ll learn in this episode:

✅ The hidden cost of cultural conditioning on women’s mental health

✅ Why “being good” often comes at the expense of authenticity

✅ The neuroscience of identity and how to rewrite old scripts

✅ Practical steps for reframing self-worth and reclaiming agency


Visit Elise Loehnen’s Website: https://www.eliseloehnen.com/

Follow Elise on Instagram: @eliseloehnen

Get Elise's New Book "Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness: A Process for Reclaiming Your Full Self:"

https://www.eliseloehnen.com/onourbestbehavior


📒 Order my new book Help in a Hurry: www.helpinahurrybook.com

✏️ Rewire your mind, reclaim your peace, and save $50 on the new Help in a Hurry course—signed book included at www.helpinahurrycourse.com


📫 Join 250,000+ readers: https://drleaf.com

🖥️ Watch on YouTube: / @drcarolineleaf

GET IN TOUCH:

🌍 My Website

📸 Instagram: / drcarolineleaf

🐦 Twitter: / drcarolineleaf

💻 Facebook: / drcarolineleaf


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DISCLAIMER: This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. Please consult with a professional for personalized support.


#EliseLoehnen #OnOurBestBehavior #WomenAndIdentity #CulturalConditioning #MentalHealthForWomen #SevenDeadlySinsMyth #MindManagement #IdentityAndAgency #Neuroplasticity #HelpInAHurry #DrCarolineLeaf #SelfWorthReset #BreakingCulturalScripts #PerformancePressure #FeminineConditioning #ResilienceTools #BehaviorChange


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Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Dr. Leaf Show and I am so excited to have a very special guest with us today,

0:05.7

Elise Lunan, who has been on the show before and she's amazing. She's done, written a fantastic book

0:11.3

and you've got a workbook out now. She talks about the seven deadly sins and I know that

0:15.7

immediately got your attention, the seven deadly sins, but specifically how they apply to how

0:20.8

women function in

0:21.8

society. So Elise, welcome back and I can't wait to dive in again to this topic in even more

0:27.2

depth. Thank you for having me. It is so fun to talk to you always. I love it. We always have

0:31.7

great conversations. So, well, let's just, just for those listeners that don't know much about

0:36.3

you, just to tell them who you are, what you do, and why you wrote this book.

0:40.2

Yeah. So I'm an author and a podcast host. I have a show called Pulling the Thread, which you also will be on.

0:49.2

And prior to, well, I've always written books. I've lived as a ghost writer, which is sort of an

0:54.8

interesting career path that I write about in my own book as well, because I love hiding

1:00.1

behind other people and shaping and pushing their ideas out into the world. It's a lot

1:05.9

easier than standing for yourself. And I am also a, I was a long time magazine writer and editor and working

1:14.4

both in magazines at Kani Nas and also online. And so I've been thinking about ideas and writing and

1:20.7

editing for, I guess, more than 20 years at this point. I can't believe it. I still think of my,

1:26.7

do you think of yourself as young? I have sort of that age. Yeah. I know. And I have to say, I've been in the field for 40 years. I think, oh, my gosh. I know. I don't feel. Yeah. I still feel like a precocious teenager. And I still feel like, I must be the youngest person here and then I realize no I'm you know

1:45.5

a decade older than everyone else. Exactly. When my mom was this age I used to think she was kind of

1:51.0

old and now I'm this age, you know. I know. It's terrifying. It is. It's funny. Okay. So you wrote

1:57.8

this book, Seven Deadly Sins and tell us a little bit about why you wrote that book. Yeah. So having written so many books, finally, you know, my agent was like, what are you doing? Like, what is this compulsion that you have? Why would you never write your own book? And of course, I protested and I said, I don't really know what I would, I don't have any imagination. I don't have anything to say. And she essentially called me to the mat and was like,

2:19.9

this is, this is something you need to take to therapy, clearly.

2:23.2

But your next book needs to be your own.

...

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