Why So Many Midlife Women Stop Wanting Sex—and What Helps with Cindy Scharkey, RN, BSN, PHN (Episode 261)

Hit Play Not Pause

Fitness, Health & Fitness, Medicine

4.9 • 769 Ratings

🗓️ 11 February 2026

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Midlife and menopause can bring real physical and psychological changes that affect libido, arousal, and pleasure—but that doesn’t mean desire or a satisfying sex life are destined to disappear. This week we sat down with registered nurse and Permission for Pleasure author Cindy Scharkey to unpack what actually happens to desire, arousal, pleasure, and our bodies as we move through perimenopause, menopause, and beyond. We explore why so many women stop wanting sex in midlife, how hormones, stress, body image, and long-term relationships play a role, and why waiting to be “in the mood” often doesn’t work anymore (and more importantly, what does).

Cindy Scharkey, RN, BSN, PHN, is a healthcare professional with almost 4 decades of experience. Throughout her career as a Certified Childbirth Educator, OB/GYN nurse and speaker, she has been consistently exposed to the taboos and silence surrounding women’s sexuality. Cindy is passionate about providing women with the content and self-confidence they need to find freedom on their own sexual wellness journey. As the author of Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden, and Host of the Permission for Pleasure podcast, Cindy offers education and conversations about expressing, experiencing and enjoying your sexuality. You can learn more about her, her book, and her work at www.cindyscharkey.com

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to Hit Play Not Pause, a feisty menopause podcast for active performance-minded women.
0:12.2	I am your host, Celine Yeager. Each week, I bring you advice from athletes, scientists, researchers, and other experts to help you feel and perform your best no matter what your
0:22.0	hormones are doing. This show is a production of feisty media.
0:27.4	Hello, strong feisty women. I hope you all are well. So this week, we're talking about sex.
0:34.8	But not just in the mechanistic way, you know, lubrication, arousal, orgasms,
0:40.6	though, we'll talk about that, but also, and probably more importantly, in the psychological,
0:46.7	emotional, and cultural way, about how so many of us are so intent on people pleasing that we
0:52.9	lose sight of what it means to please ourselves
0:55.6	or to be pleased, if you will. And that's where this week's guest, Cindy Sharkey, author of
1:02.0	Permission for Pleasure, really shines. This week, ahead of Valentine's Day, I thought it
1:07.5	would be good to just get into it. We explore why so many women stop wanting
1:13.6	sex in midlife, how hormones, stress, body image, and long-term relationships play a role,
1:20.3	and why waiting to be, quote unquote, in the mood often just doesn't work anymore. And more
1:26.4	importantly, what does. Cindy is an OBGYN nurse and women's
1:31.7	sexuality educator, and through her book and podcast of the same name, she offers education
1:37.5	and conversations about expressing, experiencing, and enjoying your sexuality. She is also
1:43.5	super down to earth and frank and funny, and I just
1:46.7	really enjoyed this one, and I hope you do too. Also, if you watch this one, and I recommend
1:52.0	you do on YouTube, you can see her incredible clitoris models, and one of them looks actually
1:59.0	like a macromay vagina. It was really something to behold,
2:03.3	so I recommend you checking that out. You can learn more about her, her book, and her work at
2:09.1	Cindy Sharkey.com. As always, I will put a link to that in the show notes. You can check it out
	...

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