All right, guys, we need to talk about this. Why she loses respect when you give her everything.

This is damaging a lot of relationships, not because they don't care enough.

They actually care so much that they start losing themselves in the relationship.

The less connection that the guy gets, the less intimacy it seems like the guy gets,

the more that he does. So what the heck is going on here? That's what we're going to talk about

in this episode. I'm going to break this down. In his mind, he's thinking, I'm trying, I'm listening,

I'm being the good man. So why does it feel like she's pulling further away, Andrew? And what most

men don't realize is she's not just feeling your effort. She's feeling the fear underneath it,

the scarcity in which your efforts come from. A lot of men are not actually afraid of conflict.

They deal with conflict all the time at work.

They're afraid of what happens right before the conflict with someone they love. It's the shift in her

face, the quiet tone change in her voice, the moment her energy goes cold and suddenly the whole room

belongs to her disappointment. And suddenly

the man who can handle all the things at work, all the pressure, all the responsibility, the

conflict, the stress all day becomes a boy again the moment she looks unhappy with him.

I'm in trouble. He softens what he was going to say. He explains more

than he needs to. He gives more ground than he wanted to. He says yes, even though something in

his body already said no. And later he tells himself, it's not worth the fight, Andrew. It's just not.

I'm trying to love her well. I'm keeping the peace.

And maybe part of that is true. Look, I get it. But sometimes being loving is just a story that the

man tells himself when he's afraid to tell the truth. Fear that if she's unhappy, he's done something

wrong. Okay. And fear that if he disappoints he's done something wrong okay and fear that if he

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