Why Self-Leadership is More Effective Than Being Held Accountable [191]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Spiritual, Narcissism, Self-improvement, Marriage, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Christian, Divorce, Christianity, Education

5.0 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 4 October 2022

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

How do you feel about accountability? Like it, love it, want some more of it? Or maybe it’s like medicine to you — icky but necessary. Hold on to your booty, cause I’ve got an opinion on it too. I think it’s a made-up practice that got a “virtue” sticker slapped on it. I think it arrests our development into emotional adulthood. In fact, I’d say accountability does more harm than good. And it can never match the power of internal motivation for true, lasting life change. Christian accountability conditions us to believe: - We are helpless and foolish - We don’t have the capacity for self-motivation or self-leadership - We have to be externally motivated by something outside of ourselves (like pain or the humiliation of confessing our faults/sins/failures) - We can't make our own decisions - We have to get guidance from and obey other people (who usually have penises) - We are flirting with danger if we think independently Listen or download the transcript at flyingfreenow.com/191 FREE: I'll send you the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Just hop on my mailing list at flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download. (I will NEVER spam you or sell your information.) Desperate for real help and safe people who understand what you're going through? Find out about my online education and support program for women of faith at joinflyingfree.com And, if you are an already divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, have amazing relationships, build a business or career, or even find a good man - check out joinflyinghigher.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now, and you're listening to the Flying Free
0:10.2	podcast, a support resource for women of faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden
0:16.6	emotional and spiritual abuse.
0:21.6	Welcome to episode 191 of the Flying Free Podcast. I want to start by reading an incredible
0:29.2	win that one of the women in our private Flying free group posted in our private forum yesterday.
0:35.6	I've removed any identifiers in order to protect her privacy, but this is what she wrote.
0:41.6	It dawned on me that it's been around six months since I came across
0:45.6	Natalie Hoffman's book which dramatically and I mean dramatically changed my life. I know
0:51.5	you all get it. It's been half a year, half a year. When I came
0:58.5	across Natalie's book, I read it within a couple of days. I couldn't put it down.
1:02.3	I couldn't believe that someone
1:04.2	could put words to my experience and that it was actually like a thing. It felt
1:11.1	like the scales were literally falling off of my eyes and I finally started embracing the truth I had been living in for 16 years.
1:20.0	I went from extreme fawning to a cold wake-up call within a matter of weeks and I couldn't unsee it.
1:27.8	I just couldn't unsee it and I couldn't pretend anymore.
1:32.2	Looking back over the past six months, I almost don't recognize myself.
1:36.0	I still have so far to go, but I have come so far too.
1:41.0	I'm beginning to understand what it feels like to love myself, to advocate for
1:46.9	myself, to take care of myself, and to not feel guilty for doing it. I'm finding my voice again, I'm finding my confidence again.
1:58.0	I'm learning that God really does love me. Like he really loves me. It's not just a cute Christian saying. When deep down I thought he
2:08.5	actually wanted me to suffer and die and become nothing. He not only loves me, but I think he actually likes me. Is it possible
2:18.9	that it's okay for me to like me too? Maybe I don't need a man to like me. Maybe I can just be
	...

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