Why Relationships Change Over Time
ShrinkChicks
Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT and Emmalee Bierly, LMFT
4.9 • 755 Ratings
🗓️ 4 May 2026
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week on ShrinkChicks, Em and Jen break down the phases of relationships and how couples evolve over time, from the honeymoon stage to deeper intimacy. Using a developmental model from couples therapy, they explain why conflict often comes from partners being in different stages at the same time.
They walk through each phase and explain why the shift out of the honeymoon stage can feel so jarring. Listener questions cover when to seek couples therapy, what premarital counseling actually looks like, and how to navigate major life transitions like job loss or having kids.
They also get into how to have more meaningful and authentic conversations, why relationship skills aren’t innate, and how to move through each stage with more awareness and connection.
Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! PS: Fast forward to around 4:30 to skip the intro and get straight to today’s content.
Book mentioned: How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | There was a period of time where I fully convinced myself I was going to become the kind of person |
| 0:04.7 | who meal preps everything on Sundays. And it lasted maybe two weeks. Before I was back standing |
| 0:11.2 | in front of my kitchen at 6 p.m. like, hmm, what do we do for dinner? And that's honestly why |
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| 0:35.0 | We've had some really good pasta dishes and the seafood meals feel like |
| 0:38.3 | something that we just ordered out. And we make it at home without the stress. They even offer |
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| 0:51.9 | Green Chef out. I think you'll love it just like we do. |
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| 1:06.7 | slash 50 shrink chicks. And so like skills have to be taught. That does not mean that you are broken. It does not mean it's bad. It doesn't mean the relationship isn't working. It means I need some skill billing. Yeah. It's also helpful to understand, like, what your partner's skills are. Totally. Right? How they've developed maladaptive patterns that they're bringing into the relationship. And, you know, sometimes we all have |
| 1:28.8 | blind spots. Welcome back to another episode of shrink chicks. Take a seat on our virtual |
| 1:43.7 | therapy couch and get ready to learn all about, well, you. |
| 1:47.5 | I'm Emily Beirley. |
| 1:48.6 | And I'm Jennifer Chakin. |
| 1:49.9 | And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts. |
| 1:53.7 | We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy practice with down-to-earth therapists just like us. |
| 2:01.2 | Your session is starting, so get ready to know yourself and grow yourself. |
| 2:09.3 | Okay, real question. How long are we all keeping the same pair of glasses past their prime? |
... |
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