Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now, and you're listening to the Flying Free

podcast, a support resource for Women of Faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden

emotional and spiritual abuse.

Welcome to episode 118 of the Flying Free Podcast. Today I'm going to be

answering a listener question, so let me play the question and then we'll dive in.

Hello it's's Tracy.

I'd like you to address the problem that I'm coming across

where women who've been in abusive relationships only know how to relate in

particular ways especially if they were raised in abusive families.

And so developing, figuring out healthy ways to relate,

even to other women who've been in abusive relationships

is a huge challenge. So we're not to be independent and

isolated like monks or hermits, but we're also not to be laying our burdens on other people.

And it seems to be a particular,

or this has a particular flavor with women who have been in abusive relationships.

It's a problem that I am seeing and I'm trying to figure out for myself.

Do you chase people up when they haven't answered your call or does that look like you're hounding them or if you make arrangements are you trying to control their lives and

how do they feel about it because they think you're trying to control their lives

all that kind of stuff. Hope that's clear. I'm sure you've got something you can say

about it. Thanks a lot. Bye. Well of course I've got something to say about

it, right? All right. This is the catch 22 of abuse. It's damned if you do something and damned if you don't. In an abusive relationship, if you speak up, you get criticized and blamed.

Let me give you an example here.

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