So in the interest of full journalistic transparency, I do want to explain how all of this happened.

I was grounding around for ways to cover the NFL draft this week.

And so, naturally, I googled day Fleming,

you're a man with a particular set of skills.

Plus NFL draft.

Which is how I discovered, Fleb,

that you once wrote and reported an entire story exhaustively about butts.

Honestly, I can just retire now because this is the highlight of my career.

So where does the glute gossip happen, Fleb?

How does the butt figure into the story of the NFL draft?

This is one of the all-time classics as far as like story generation, story idea generation.

This is like a decade ago. I am in the darkened hall where they do the weigh-ins for the senior bull.

The players come out on stage, they get weighed, they get measured,

and the scouts are all in attendance, and I'm sitting amongst them.

Each time a prospect, specifically like interior alignment, especially,

they would come out on the stage.

I could hear in the dark, scouts around me holding up handheld recorders,

and whispering into them stuff like,

oh my god, look at his haunches.

Oh, beautiful bubble butt.

Oh my god, this guy is stacked in the back.

This is a five-star.

...