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The Mental Healness Podcast

Why Narcissists PAY for Intimacy

The Mental Healness Podcast

Lee Hammock

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.91.2K Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2026

⏱️ 13 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Most people assume this behavior is just about the bedroom, but for a narcissist, it’s a calculated move to avoid the one thing we fear most: Vulnerability. Today, I’m taking the mask off to explain why transactional dynamics are the "perfect supply." When you pay for a service, there are no expectations, no "mirror" reflecting our flaws, and a guaranteed discard.In this video, we discuss:The Power Dynamic: Why being the "Customer" is a narcissist's safe space.Avoiding the Mirror: Why real intimacy feels like a threat to the False Self.The Built-In Discard: Why narcissists love a relationship with an expiration date.Validation on Demand: The dopamine hit of "purchased" admiration.


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

So why do narcissists love pain for the bedroom stuff? The bedroom boom. Like I'm talking about only only schmans, smostitutes, escorts, all of that type of stuff.

0:13.0

Corno, all of that type of stuff. Yes, I'm using certain words so it doesn't get, you know, taken down or whatnot. But y'all get what I was saying. They love pain for the bedroom, boom, so to speak.

0:24.4

That's what we're talking about today, y'all.

0:26.1

Of course, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammack.

0:27.7

I'm a diagnosed narcissist, and welcome to another episode of the Narcissisciscode. Welcome back, folks, welcome back, welcome back.

0:49.8

Yeah, yeah, y'all, a lot of narcissistic people absolutely do love paying for it.

0:56.9

They love, they really do love it.

0:58.9

I'm just going to keep it hot and ready.

1:00.4

Now, does every narcissist like doing that?

1:04.3

No, no, no, most narcissists do not like, I'm just being real.

1:09.8

There's a lot of narcissists out there who will not pay for it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah, blah, b b b b. Y'all get exactly what I'm saying, right? But there are a ton of narcissistic people who do. And this video was inspired by a lady I did a one-on-one with. Those are still available, mental healthness.net, but I did it one-on-one with her, right? And she was pretty much telling me, she was like, my narcissistic husband just kept, he was on these sites. Like a lot of our credit card bills, you would see the OF on there, you would see the OF on there, OF, discharge, this type of charge, you know, random charges, random paypals, random cash apps to certain people or whatever and i look the

1:45.5

person up it's a lady of the night yeah i know your husband your husband has been here with me

1:50.6

uh your husband is one of my best clients and she was like what i had been married it's like lee i've

1:55.9

been married so long i had no idea why do they love that why do narcissists love that so i just like okay you know what

2:02.5

i can do that i will do that i will i will take i will i volunteer as tribute right

2:09.0

and that's why i'll say i'm going to do it like that and just to kind of get to get it off the rip

2:15.3

right one reason the narcissists love that type of lifestyle love love the only fans, people, the escorts and whatnot, is because the power.

2:22.9

The power and the control.

2:24.6

I think a lot of people, when you see this video, a lot of people that have ever dealt with a narcissist will understand exactly what I'm saying.

2:31.2

There are a ton of narcissistic people who just enjoy the power and the

2:35.8

control that they get. They just do. They love having the power. They love having the control over

2:41.0

people. This is just the mentality that so many narcissists have. And if I can just pay for it,

...

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