Why It's Now Illegal to Give Dolphins Acid (For Science)
Ridiculous Crime
iHeartPodcasts
4.5 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 24 March 2026
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This is the story of two scientists who pushed the envelope of both good taste and morality as they experimented with dolphins. The idea was simple. Give dolphins LSD and then see if we can teach them to speak English. The results were not so simple or clear-cut. But they were certainly ridiculous... and criminal.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Ridiculous Crime is a production of IHeart Radio. And there she is, Mr. Elizabeth. Da, and here I go. Gonna save the day. How are you doing, Zarin? Pretty well, consider my day saved. I saved the day for pretty much everybody. You do for me. I mean, my day's already looking up, and now it's saved. I can ruin your day, too, if it's not comfortable. This is true. Yeah, so. You make the call. |
| 0:23.8 | I got a question for you over there, saver and destroyer of worlds. Do you know what's ridiculous? I do know what's ridiculous. Share it with me. It has to do with ranch dressing. You a fan of ranch dressing? Um, yes. |
| 0:37.8 | Breathe through it. Come on, you can do it. Here's how I'll put it. I never had ranch dressing until I went to college. And then I had it. And then I was like, oh, okay. And really, the only thing I ever eat it with, well, actually, it's not true. I eat it with pizza because that's how I learned to eat it. Yeah, same. And then I started putting it on salads when it was the only dressing and I didn't want to go with like blue cheese or something. |
| 0:57.9 | And I was like, huh. Because I grew up my father, it was just oil and vinegar or Italian dressing. And then my mother had like Catalina in French dressing. So I never saw a ranch. Yeah, I never had ranch. At Woodstock's pizza in Davis, California. That's where I learned. That's where I learned. They give you ranch with the pizza. And I was like, what the H am I supposed to do? Exactly. What the H.E. double hockey sticks is this. And you're not supposed to drizzle it. Dip. Yeah. I learned all this stuff. And then I was like, this is kind of great if the pizza's like not, subpar. Not like sparkletacular. Anyway, but yeah, I can't put it on a salad. I can't go there. It's too thick. Anyway, ranch dressing. That's one thing. Put that, put a pin in that. Pin stuck. Have you ever been to Great Wolf Lodge? Do you know what that is? |
| 1:45.2 | It sounds familiar. I don't think I have. It's my understanding that it is like an indoor water park. Oh, yeah. No, I've seen ads. It's just like kids pee in the water. Sure. I think they encourage it. They're probably signs. They give rewards little stickers. Yes. Yes, there's a rewards program. |
| 2:01.4 | They have this list of where they rewards, little stickers. Yes. Yes, there's a rewards program. |
| 2:01.4 | They have this list of where they are located all across the USA. |
| 2:05.7 | My favorite is there's a location in San Francisco slash Mantica, California. |
| 2:13.1 | I love when they have those. |
| 2:14.3 | So I'm going to tell you something right now, y'all. |
| 2:16.8 | Mantica's nowhere near San Francisco. But let's keep, you know, don't stop believing. Anyhow. So. If you're separated by a mountain range, I don't think. In the valley. All right. Anyway, what was I saying? Great Wolf Lodge, ranch dressing. And you know what I'm going to go to now? Milkshakes. |
| 2:35.0 | What? |
| 2:35.5 | Because the Great Wolf Lodge, in honor of Ranch Dressing Day, which was March 10th, they started selling a ranch milkshake. |
| 2:50.5 | Oh. |
| 2:51.4 | It is blended with vanilla ice cream and ranch dressing, garnished with crispy chicken. |
| 2:57.2 | So like little chicky-nuggies. |
| 2:59.1 | So like, is that like on the rim of the glass? |
| 3:01.2 | No, like it's a margarita? |
| 3:02.2 | Well, it's a salty lime rim, but then on little skewers, there's chicky-nuggies, carrot, celery, whipped cream. |
| 3:12.2 | In my shake. |
| 3:13.7 | In your shake. |
| 3:14.7 | And so it's eight bucks. |
... |
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