Hallelujah. Three minutes after 12 and it's Thursday and the news agenda has temporarily slowed down to a degree sufficient to allow us to launch a weekly adventure into the unknown.

It was postponed last week and then subsequently cancelled. This week, well, let's see how we get on. I can't quite think of anything important enough to cancel mystery., but I probably said that last week, shortly before Boris Johnson pulled out the Conservative Leadership Campaign. Three minutes after 12 is the time. You know the number. The way it works is this. You have lurking somewhere in your mind a mystery. You may not know that it's lurking somewhere in your mind. You may not even know that it's a mystery.

But you almost certainly have a question in desperate need of an answer.

This is where you find one.

Whether it's a who, a why, a when, a whence, a whither, or even the occasional wherefore.

It's just there.

It's bubbling away in the back of it.

Why do we do that?

What's that about, James? Where does that come from? What's the origin of this? Why, when you see that, does that happen? Why does that do this and that do that do this? Whatever it may be, the number you need to get involved, I will remind you of whenever I have a spare slot on the switchboard. If you hear somebody else, ask a question to which you do know the answer, then you have to ring in, otherwise your radio might melt. 0346, 0609773 is the number you need

for that. I make two guarantees at this point in proceedings. I guarantee that by 1 o'clock today,

you will know more than you do now. I can't guarantee that the knowledge will prove of any

use to you whatsoever. It's perfectly possible that the information you glean in the course of the next 54 minutes will prove

to be supremely pointless in the great scheme of things, but the sum total of your knowledge

will increase between now and one o'clock. You'll also laugh out loud at least once.

I've never had to pay out any refunds on that promise, but every week I feel as if we're taking our lives in our hands.

So you'll get a laugh out loud moment and you'll know more by 1 o'clock than you do now.

I can't say fairer than that.

I'll remind you with the phone number whenever there is a slot on the switchboard.

If you hear somebody else, ask a question to which you know the answer, ring in and provide it.

And I haven't done it for a week. Have I forgotten anything? Have I forgotten anything? We've got our rounds of applause. Have we got our Rayliota quote ready?

Should we do the Rayliota quote now just to sort of get ourselves in the mystery mood?

You'll be familiar if you haven't listened for a while. We've had a catchphrase on the program for some time.

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