Why Gossiping Could Help Your Love Life

Modern Love

The New York Times

Nytimes, Redemption, Society & Culture, New York Times, Love, Essay, Storytelling, Loss, Nyt

4.4 • 8.7K Ratings

🗓️ 19 February 2025

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

For Kelsey McKinney, the author of the new book, “You Didn’t Hear This From Me: (Mostly) True Notes on Gossip,” spreading a good story occupied a morally gray zone throughout her childhood. McKinney, who is also the former host of the podcast, “Normal Gossip,” talks with Modern Love’s Anna Martin about navigating the ups and downs of gossiping in her own life. McKinney also reads the Modern Love essay “We Were a Party of Two, but Never Quite Alone” by Linda Button, who tells the story of how gossiping with her rich suitor’s exes brought the euphoria of her relationship back down to earth. While reading Button’s essay, McKinney fields questions from Martin so they can do some gossiping of their own. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times. How to submit a Tiny Love Story.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Love now and door.
0:03.3	Love was stronger than anything.
0:07.1	And I love you more than anything.
0:10.5	You're still love.
0:12.1	From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin. This is Modern Love.
0:19.7	Every week, we bring you stories about love, lust,
0:23.1	heartbreak, and all the messiness of relationships. And I don't know what can be messier than gossip.
0:31.9	Maybe you were raised to believe it was morally or spiritually wrong to gossip. Maybe you're
0:37.4	okay with it, as long as it's not about you gossip, maybe you're okay with it as long as it's not
0:39.0	about you. Or maybe you love it. Harmless gossip can be a way to make friends, to keep your group
0:46.2	chat going. Good gossip makes you want to lean in. For example, I still remember being told
0:54.0	that the hottest guy from my high school started speaking in an Australian accent the second he got to college.
1:01.2	My high school was in Maryland.
1:04.5	I have no idea if this guy's family was from Australia or if he'd gone on a very meaningful trip to Australia, who
1:12.2	knows? Very nice guy. But I am told that the second this guy got to college, he basically
1:17.6	started speaking like the crocodile hunter. This is a piece of gossip that my friends and I return to
1:24.6	time and time again. It's just delightful. Also, apparently, this guy was
1:31.0	very good at the accent, which is very impressive. Now, no one, I would say, understands the thrill
1:38.1	of good gossip quite like our guest today, Kelsey McKinney. Until recently, McKinney hosted a hit podcast from Defector Media
1:46.8	called Normal Gossip, where she told juicy, anonymous, secondhand stories in every episode.
1:53.5	Her guest would laugh and chime in along with her. It was so much fun. And this month,
1:57.7	she published a book called You Didn't Hear This From Me, mostly true notes on gossip.
	...

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