4.9 • 897 Ratings
🗓️ 8 July 2025
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
In this episode, you'll learn:
• How to catch yourself projecting your definitions onto others and create real understanding instead
• Why the stories you tell yourself about tough experiences keep you stuck, and how reframing heavy words unlocks healing
• The communication patterns that show when you're assuming versus getting curious, and how this one shift transforms everything
Have you ever had someone tell you to "just have faith" and wanted to punch them in the face? Or maybe you started consoling someone about their divorce, only to realize they threw a party to celebrate and you're standing there like an idiot with your sympathy face on?
Here's what nobody talks about: we're all walking around with these secret dictionaries in our heads. Same words, completely different meanings. And we're out here having conversations thinking we're on the same page when really, we might as well be speaking Martian to each other.
Your brain collects definitions your whole life based on what you've actually lived through. So when someone who grew up in chaos hears "boundaries," they might think about walls and isolation. But someone else hears the same word and thinks about self-respect and clarity. When someone says "vulnerability," one person pictures weakness and danger, while another sees courage and connection.
Ancient wisdom traditions understood that language shapes reality. The stories we tell ourselves and the meanings we attach to our experiences literally create our world. When you're unconscious about the definitions you're carrying around, you're operating on autopilot, assuming everyone else sees through your lens.
And here's the part that'll change your life: the meaning you've been carrying around for a word that causes you pain? That's not carved in stone. You can consciously choose to reframe your relationship with any concept. Sometimes healing starts with something as simple as realizing that your definition of "selfish" might actually be someone else's definition of "self-care."
What if the words that have been limiting you could become the keys to your freedom?
Today our guest is Donna Reed, a 67-year-old author who discovered the power of conscious language while writing a book exploring different meanings behind everyday words. Her journey reveals how our relationship with language evolves as we grow, and why getting intentional about communication changes everything.
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0:00.0 | Have you ever been going through a really hard time, and someone tells you to just have faith, |
0:08.0 | and you kind of want to punch them in the face? |
0:11.0 | Or maybe you started consoling somebody about their divorce, |
0:15.0 | only to realize they threw a whole party about it to celebrate, |
0:19.0 | and you're standing there feeling like a dummy with |
0:20.9 | your sympathy face on. |
0:23.5 | Here's what nobody talks about. |
0:25.9 | We're all walking around with these secret dictionaries in our head. |
0:30.4 | The same words, completely different meanings. |
0:33.8 | And we're out here having conversations, thinking that we're on the same page when really |
0:38.3 | we might as well be speaking German to one another. |
0:42.0 | I learned this when my former boss said that we needed to pivot our strategy. |
0:47.0 | And I'm thinking evolving our approach based on market feedback and customer research. |
0:53.1 | Well, he meant firing half of our team and completely |
0:56.0 | changing our business model without really telling anyone. But this goes way deeper than just |
1:01.7 | business communications. We're losing the ability to truly connect across generations, across |
1:08.2 | experiences, across the basic human need to be understood. |
1:13.6 | If those ancestors hadn't orally passed down their words to the next generation and the next |
1:21.6 | would we know anything about anything? And I fear that with emojis. I fear that our emojis, now just picture this on |
1:30.6 | the side of rock, our smiling faces, our one with a tear, our heart. God knows a pile of poop |
1:36.6 | could be there, right? That's an emoji that gets used. The importance of communication, I just |
1:42.8 | don't want it to be lost. Your brain collects definitions your |
... |
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