From the brains behind brains on, this is the Moment of Um.

Um.

Moment of Um comes to you from APM Studios. I'm Mr. Prim.

Um.

As the owner-propriator and founder of Mr. Prim's Prim and Proper Etiquette School, I love telling people what not to do.

Nothing gives me more pleasure than waving my index finger in the air and shouting at the top of my lungs.

No, no, no.

Just the other day, I saw someone buttoning their coat from top to bottom.

Everyone knows the proper way to button a coat is to start with the bottom button and work your way up.

And I simply cannot forget the time I saw my cat Tim Prim lapping water from the left side of his

cat bowl. As I've told him many, many times, the proper way for a cat to lap water is from

the right side of the bull. But if there's one thing that really gets my tailcoat in a twist,

it's when people don't use proper scratching technique.

That's right.

There's a right way and a wrong way to scratch yourself.

The proper way to scratch is with the tip of your pinky finger

for no more than three seconds while humming the

Canadian anthem like this.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. And do not, I repeat, do not itch your scrape,

scratches, boo-boos, and burns.

It's most unseemly.

I know that one's skin itches dreadfully while it's healing, but that's no excuse.

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