So my wife and I'm married to get a virgin before me and I was a good

And I was not. Things are good overall but the other night we

were having one of those deep late night talks and she asked me something out of nowhere.

She said, does it make you feel special that I saved myself for you? Normally I'd be more tactful

but I had been drinking so I hadn't eat so I didn't even hesitate

or think I said fuck no I never cared about that kind of thing besides I hate purity culture she got

quiet and a little hurt after that I wasn't trying to be cruel. I just wanted to be honest.

I never cared about virginity or saving yourself.

I think purity culture is toxic and harmful,

especially to women.

And she knew that about me already.

I was trying to convey that I love her for who she is,

not because she had or hadn't had sex before me.

But apparently she saw it as a huge romantic gesture and me brushing it off crushed her a little bit.

Since then, she's been a bit distant and I can tell I hurt her feelings.

I didn't mean to.

I was just being straightforward.

I don't want her to think I love her any less,

but I also don't want to pretend

like virginity means something to me when it doesn't.

So am I being the asshole for being blunt with my answer?

What do you guys think?

...