The promise that I issue to you is that by 1 o'clock today, you will know more than you do now.

LBC 97.3 Mystery Hour with James O'Brien.

Three minutes after at 12, this is LBC 97.3, and this is your weekly opportunity to get satisfaction. Not like that, obviously. It's not that sort of radio show, but a satisfaction of an intellectual variety. Bear with me for a moment. The way it works with is very similar to the newspaper columns, wherein readers weekly submit their questions in the hope that another reader, a week later, or a month later, or even longer later, do know the answer and provide it. So why do we do that? Why does that happen? Where does that come from? What's the reason for this? What's the origin of that? Literally,

the parameters for inclusion as far as questions go are as wide as your brain, as open as your mind. If you can think it, you can ask it. The only circumstances in which you will be politely

invited to sling your hook is if we've dealt with your question relatively recently, or, and this is the difficult bit, or if it is boring, in our entirely subjective opinion, even if you think it's the most interesting question in the world, if myself and the producer Lucy think that it's boring, sayonara, au revoir, adios, and goodbye. And if it's about driving, then I'm afraid it almost certainly will be a judged dull.

If you want to ask a question like, what if this is it roundabout just outside Basingstoke,

and he's got five exits, but only four of them are signposted, James.

Where does the fifth exit lead? Don't waste tenpence. Seriously, you're never

going to get on. It's a very busy hour. Already, my switchboard is groaning under the weight

of your contributions, but as soon as there's a phone line free, I will tell you. Judicious

use of redial is the nearest thing I have to a gatch phrase. Judicious use of redial at Thursdays between 12 and 1 is the best way to get on if you failed to get on immediately. Okay? And just as we deal with a couple of people who are keen to ask questions we've already answered, so a phone line frees itself up. So, 0845-60-60-973 is the number to call. If you're new to this

and you're wondering, well, what, does it really, are you really allowed to ask anything? What does

you mean? Just why not sit back for 10 minutes? Listen to the first couple of questions that get on the

board and then make your own view about just how big those goalposts, just how far apart those gold posts are. Seriously.

Gary's in Wiltham Abbey. Gary, what's your question? Hello, mate.

First time, call her. You're very well.

I say first time I called. I've rang up at three o'clock in the morning once to Bill Buckley, but first time in the day.

Good old Bill. Carry on.

Right, James, my question is quite basic.

Yes. On Earth, which has the most mass, as of the animal kingdom, including humans, the plant kingdom, including trees and forests, obviously, insect kingdom or sea creature kingdom?

So, animal, plant...

I would put birds in with animals.

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