Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

The show is about to begin.

I am so viscerally afraid of accidentally texting the chief of police.

Kind of weird, that's all she wrote.

You are in my thoughts and prayers in perpetuity now mind you i don't even have the chief of police's phone number and why would i hello and welcome back

to monologuing i'm mad's Mitch and I am your host today and always because

well quite frankly this is literally my podcast so who else is going to host it? Happy freaking Monday.

I hope you had a fabulous weekend. I hope you're feeling well rested and rejuvenated and ready to tackle

whatever life might throw at you this week and I don't think that that's asking too much of your favorite podcast host. Oh my God,

I have like a hair somewhere on my mouth and it's irky. Okay, I got it. We're good. I hope you

had a fabulous weekend, but I already said that. So I guess I'll say one more time to do things in threes. I don't know

where that's coming from, but I hope you had a great weekend. It's Monday, March 30th. We're almost in

April. That's insane. We're almost in Q2. You all mind if we enter Q2 together? You'll mind if we

enter Q2 in a positive note? I don't know.

Lucky for you, you have caught me on my one caffeinated day of the week. I'm recording this on

Friday. I'm looking outside and the sun is out and I hate it. And you want to know why I hate it?

Because the sun has been a deceptive little bitch recently. There I said it. I am so sick. Well, first of all,

this winter has just wrecked me. It is emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally destroyed me.

And I like, I need you to know I'm being so deathly serious when I say that. Something about the

combination of this winter and going through the first two months

of the year that were heinous and horrible for me. And the sheer amount of snow that I got this year,

I personally, no one else got it. I was the only person that had to suffer through this reality

...