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It's three minutes after 12 and you are listening to James O'Brien on LBC,

where Mystery Hour begins.

Your weekly opportunity to achieve the sort of satisfaction,

not ordinarily available to you anywhere else on your radio.

And indeed it comes with two promises.

Guarantees, you could call them, pledges, cast iron, guarantees.

By one o'clock today, you will know more than you do now.

It may not be knowledge that you're particularly grateful for.

It may not be knowledge that you're able to put to any use whatsoever in the future.

But it will, however, be knowledge, and you will have more of it by one o'clock than you do now.

The other pledge I routinely make at this point in proceedings every week is that you will probably have a laugh.

Not probably, it's a guarantee.

You will laugh out loud between now and one o'clock.

...