Why CONFIDENCE Isn't Enough: You Need COMPETENCE in Love TOO | Matthew Hussey EP 628

The Daily Motivation

Lewis Howes

Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 893 Ratings

🗓️ 28 May 2024

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Matthew Hussey argues that the biggest mistake in dating is feeling entitled to love without self-improvement, as building relationship competence requires effort comparable to professional development. Recalling a painful breakup where he was deemed boring despite early admiration for his ambition, Hussey realized individual strengths that attract partners fail to sustain intimacy without complementary qualities providing depth. Though confident in business, Hussey discovered even core talents rely on balance, creativity and vulnerability to prevent the boredom of one-dimensionality in affairs of the heart. Ultimately, Hussey emphasizes pairing cockiness with caring at appropriate moments to demonstrate the unique range of traits that turn initial intrigue into lasting mutual addiction.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.
0:07.0	What's the biggest mistake people find today when trying to find their love or find someone that they you know their soulmate?
0:19.0	What's the biggest mistake?
0:21.0	I think there's a something of a sense of entitlement that most of us have or that most people have when they're going out to date
0:30.2	where they somehow feel like they're just owed the love of their life, that it shouldn't be difficult,
0:37.0	that they don't have to do anything, that it's enough that they are just them.
0:42.0	And sometimes we feel like we're owed that and it
0:47.3	kind of becomes an excuse again not to grow not to frankly it doesn't really matter what you think you're owed in love
0:56.9	no one cares I think it's the same thing with work and you know so many people
1:00.9	are entitled and they think it should just get a job.
1:03.0	Yeah. And so the biggest criticism I get all the time, which I'm happy with as a criticism of my advice,
1:10.0	is, well, why do you need to do all of this stuff? can't you just you know go through life and and when the time is right you'll know
1:17.6	why do you have to do all of these techniques? I'm happy with that criticism if that's what you think you're not my audience
1:24.0	because my audience are the same people that go to a business seminar to make more
1:28.8	money. They're the same people that say you know what if I want to start a business I might actually
1:34.1	need to know what the hell I'm doing it's not enough to have confidence in life you have
1:38.3	to have competence you have to actually know what you're doing and and that's what a lot of people don't know in their love lives.
1:45.0	There's something I came to understand.
1:47.0	I remember once having a breakup.
1:49.0	It was the most painful breakup I've ever had.
1:51.0	I was really, really in a bad way over it. And a while later I spoke to this to this
1:56.4	woman on the phone. She had actually done something I didn't like and that I thought was
	...

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