Many boys form deep friendships in childhood, but as they become teens, something changes. They become

more reluctant to open up to others and report fewer close, rich friendships. Today we're going to talk

to a psychologist who has spent decades studying boys' friendships and emotional development about why

that happens and what it means for boys and men

and for everyone else. What do boys learn about masculinity through their childhood and teen years?

How do those lessons affect their mental health and relationships as they grow up? How do the

norms and ideals of boy culture affect women and girls as well, and what can parents and educators do

to help us all stay emotionally connected to ourselves and each other. Welcome to Speaking of

Psychology, the flagship podcast of the American Psychological Association that examines the links

between psychological science and everyday life. I'm Kim Mills.

My guest today is Dr. Niobe Way, a professor of developmental psychology and director of the

Science of Human Connection Lab at New York University. Her work focuses on how culture shapes

child development, especially in boys and young men, and how to

foster connection and combat loneliness. She's the author of more than 100 academic articles

and books. Her newest book is Rebels with a Cause, Reimagining Boys, Ourselves, and Our Culture.

Her previous book, Deep Secrets, Boys' Friendships and the Crisis of Connection, was the inspiration

for the Oscar-nominated movie, Close. Dr. Way, thank you for joining me today. Oh, I'm so delighted

to be here, and thank you for the invitation. In your latest book and in your research,

you talk about boy culture. What do you mean by that term? What is boy culture? Well, this is an interesting

thing. So boy culture, and I want to make a very clear to your listeners that boy is in quotation,

not boy culture, meaning it's a stereotype of a boy. It's not a real boy. And the important part of

this is what I'm about to say is it's taught to us by real boys. So real boys tell us

...