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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Why Boundaries Protect Relationships: Assertive Skills for Emotional Intimacy | Love | E509

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Relationships

4.7890 Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2026

⏱️ 66 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you’re avoiding boundaries because you don’t want to seem selfish, this will flip the script. Healthy boundaries can create more emotional intimacy, reduce unhealthy feelings, and stop the burnout and stress spiral. So many kind, caring people get stuck in a pattern of saying yes when they really mean no. They’re not weak, and they’re not doing anything “wrong.” They’re often afraid of conflict, afraid of disappointing someone, or afraid of losing a relationship. And that fear can pull you into the people pleasing cycle: over-giving, exhaustion, resentment, and eventually that sharp “No” that comes out of nowhere and leaves everyone feeling hurt. In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we’re talking about how to set boundaries in a way that protects your relationships instead of damaging them. You’ll learn what healthy boundaries in relationships actually look like, why boundaries are not about controlling anyone else’s behavior, and how to set a boundary with clarity and kindness — even when someone else has big feelings about it. If you’ve been wondering how to stop people pleasing, or you’re trying to figure out what are healthy boundaries in a relationship, this is a practical place to start. As you listen, notice where you’ve been making your needs smaller to keep the peace, and what might change if your boundaries became an act of love for both of you. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Boundaries Protect Relationships 04:26 Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Hard 06:45 The People-Pleasing Cycle 11:19 The Paradox: Boundaries Create Intimacy 15:53 Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication 18:10 The Real Secret to Healthy Boundaries 27:36 Requests vs Boundaries 36:40 How to Start Practicing Boundaries 39:06 The 3-Step Boundary Process 45:46 What Their Reaction Tells You About The Relationship 50:36 Resources and Next Steps If this episode is hitting close to home, maybe you’re recognizing people pleasing patterns, or noticing how hard it’s been to set boundaries in a relationship, I want to offer you something that can make this easier. You can book your free consultation with Growing Self as a kind of “first step” for yourself. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. You’ll answer three quick questions so we can help you find the right support and match you with the best counselor or coach for what you’re working on. If you’re practicing setting healthy boundaries in relationships, you don’t have to do it alone. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of Love, Happiness, and Success: Shopify: The all-in-one platform to build and grow your online business. Explore exclusive listener discounts at shopify.com/lhs Working Genius founder Patrick Lencioni is on a mission to create self understanding and connection by helping people understand their genius and that of others. Listen to our conversation, then discover your strengths and get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS

Transcript

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0:00.0

You are caring for yourself by having boundaries, but also you are acting with love for someone else

0:27.7

when you allow them to have their own feelings. What if I told you that not setting boundaries is actually a selfish thing to do?

0:48.8

I know this sounds backwards because most people think setting boundaries is the selfish option, right? It means we're

0:55.8

putting ourselves first at someone else's expense. But on today's show, you're going to learn

1:02.5

why the opposite is true and why the nicest, most generous, and also healthiest people are

1:10.6

often the ones who are best at saying no,

1:14.0

and you're going to learn how that actually strengthens relationships instead of harming them.

1:34.3

If this is your first time tuning in, I'm so glad you're here. I'm your host, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and this is the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast. And as for me, my background,

1:40.5

I'm a licensed psychologist. I'm also a marriage and family therapist, and I'm a board

1:45.3

certified coach. I'm the founder of growing self-counseling and coaching. And every week on the show,

1:50.4

I'm bringing you real tools and actionable insights that I use in my practice with my clients,

1:57.1

also with the therapists that I teach and supervise around how to help you, create a nicer life,

2:03.7

have strong relationships, and get more satisfaction out of everything, including yourself

2:09.3

and your career.

2:10.6

And today we are talking about one of the most requested topics we've ever had, and that is on how to have healthy boundaries.

2:22.6

This is really important because honestly, it's something that we all struggle with.

2:27.7

I mean, me too.

2:28.8

You would think that I might know better.

2:30.6

I'm a therapist, right?

2:31.6

I'm supposed to have this all figured out.

2:33.2

But even still, I have

2:35.8

this urge to say yes to things that honestly I should probably say no to sometimes and twist

...

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