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The Cut

Why Bother Being Nice? (with Jonathan Van Ness)

The Cut

New York Magazine

Personal Journals, Documentary, Arts, Fashion & Beauty, Society & Culture

4.41.7K Ratings

🗓️ 31 March 2021

⏱️ 27 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

No matter who you are, inevitably there is someone telling you to “be nicer” or “stop being so nice”. Girlbosses preach that nice girls don't get the corner office, and yet Instagram slogans plead to "be nice." But what is niceness? Is it a virtue? A defense mechanism? A personality trait? And how can one try to be nice in a mean world? Host Avery Trufelman turns to Jonathan Van Ness for answers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:07.0

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0:27.0

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0:32.0

That's r-o-t-h-y-s.com slash perfect.

0:39.0

The cut.

0:40.0

The cut.

0:41.0

The cut.

0:44.0

The cut.

0:48.0

I had this one fleeting moment when I realized I might be too Californian for New York.

0:54.0

I was in the elevator with Midtown skyscraper and someone else stepped in the elevator after me.

0:58.0

And I just knee jerked impulsively asked,

1:02.0

what floor are you going to?

1:04.0

To which this New Yorker gave me a sideways glance, reached past me like I wasn't there, and pressed the button for self.

1:13.0

I lived in California for the last seven years, and now as the prodigal son returning back home to New York,

1:19.0

I'm shocked to realize that I've become so nice.

1:24.0

And I used to be so annoyed by people like me, people who make conversations on airplanes,

1:30.0

people who always want to lead with the good news and chime in with the positive reinforcement.

1:35.0

And my God, now I've become one.

1:37.0

I cannot count how many times my New York colleagues have told me to please stop profusely thanking everyone and stop apologizing to everyone.

...

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