This TED Talk features author and management professor Christine Perraith recorded live at TEDx University of Nevada 2018.

Who do you want to be? It's a simple question, and whether you know it or not, you're answering it every day through your actions.

This one question will define your professional success more than any other,

because how you show up and treat people means everything.

Either you lift people up by respecting them,

making them feel valued, appreciated, and heard. Or you hold people

down by making them feel small, insulted, disregarded, or excluded. And who you choose to be

means everything.

I study the effects of insolvility on people.

What is insolity?

It's disrespect or rudeness.

It includes a lot of different behaviors,

from mocking or belittling someone,

to teasing people in ways that sting,

to telling offensive jokes,

to texting and meetings.

And what's uncivil to one person may be absolutely fine to another. Take texting while someone's speaking to you. Some of us may find it rude. Others may think it's absolutely civil. So it really

depends. It's all in the eyes of the beholder and whether that

person felt disrespected. We may not mean to make someone feel that way, but when we do, it has

consequences. Over 22 years ago, I vividly recall walking into this stuffy hospital room.

It was heartbreaking to see my dad,

this strong, athletic, energetic guy lying in the bed

...