So when I read all the research papers, and I didn't just look at what they wrote in the abstract or in their commentary,

I looked at the data, and the data actually says something else from what they're telling you in the, like from the story that they're making.

And it's mind boggling. So for example, the attachment style that people have as an adult are not the attachment styles they're going to have as kids.

Not at all. In fact, less than 10% of your attachment style as an adult can be explained by

your attachment styles as a child and also by parenting, by the type of parenting that you got.

So we all think, oh my god, the parenting is so crucial and like everything

that we do can potentially scar our kid. But that's not what the research shows, not at all.

We focus so much on our attachment relationship with our children, making sure it's healthy and

secure, and all of that is wonderful. And also, we under-emphasize the importance

of having healthy, secure attachment relationships

with peers.

Friendships matter, especially for developing children.

And cultivating healthy relationships

is really important and benefits them throughout their lives.

Today's episode of Raising Good Humans podcast is with

Dr. Amir Levine and we're talking about Secure. I'm Dr. Lisa Pressman, developmental psychologist,

New York Times bestselling author, associate clinical professor at Icon School of Medicine, and

the host of Raising Good Humans podcast. I'm so glad you're here.

For me, there's been in my own career, kind of like a trajectory or a transformation, I would

say, that I went through since I first wrote attached about romantic attachment and how people behave in romantic relationships

based on their attachment styles to really, I think, it took me about 15 years to create a new

type of therapy that kind of integrates. It's almost like a unified theory of relationships,

...