Hi, I'm Anna Marie Cox and welcome to With Friends Like These, the show where we talk about the differences between us without letting them divide us.

So I am a little self-conscious about how much I talk about my recovery on this show.

I am self-conscious in part because 12-step programs have kind of conflicting traditions about being out.

And so I'm always thinking about that.

And I'm self-conscious because I do get some feedback that my recovery is not really relevant to the show.

Which, you know, it's my show, but it's your show too. So okay.

So in general, I try to keep the recovery talked to a minimum except when it seems really relevant.

But it's relevant a lot of the time for me.

It's relevant because the paradigm of recovery, of relinquishing a crutch that has become a weapon is a great paradigm for understanding one's place as an abuser of power.

Whether that's the power of whiteness or patriarchy or ableism.

And in case you haven't noticed, abuse of power is a major theme for the show.

The show takes its name from a phrase with friends like these who needs enemies that is essentially a tiny parable about the abuse of power.

The saying the show takes its name from with friends like these who needs enemies is essentially a tiny parable about the abuse of power.

And the way that I see it, I am an abuser of whiteness in the same way I'm a drug addict.

I didn't choose to be an addict. I'm not a bad person because I'm an addict. But once I realized my addiction was harmful to myself and others, I became responsible for the damage done.

And I became responsible for taking steps to keep me from acting on my addiction.

But I will also never stop being an addict. There won't come a time when the easy answers that I get from drugs will stop being appealing to me.

I have to actively create alternative behaviors for myself and I have to watch out for falling into behaviors that should they continue will lead me to using.

I also didn't choose to reap the benefits of whiteness. I am also not a bad person because I received those benefits.

But now that I know the damage that systemic oppression has done and does, I am responsible for taking steps to undo that damage and I am responsible for how I use my own whiteness.

And I will never stop being white. I will never stop being tempted by the easy answers that whiteness offers me.

I have to actively create alternative behaviors.

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