The Space Force. It's new, volunteer today. It doesn't exist yet, but then nothing inside

my mind does.

White xylons, using a ray of your own devising, live in a warm colored world of shag carpets

and Mr. Spock hangings.

Dine on dilithium crystals, and drink Romulan brandy all day long. The Space Force needs you!

The Chinese launch to mysterious bomb. Are you going to let that happen? I don't think so.

Stand up America! This time Venus for America!

Well, I'm not sure what his name means, but roughly translated from the Venusian, it would be pronounced Zontar.

Hi, I'm Mike, President Mike Pence. You know, my mother told me there were aliens coming to attack the Earth, and by my mother, of course I mean my wife slash diaperer.

You know, when the aliens attack there's only one lot of defense against them. Never mind the Air Force or NASA or the Space Station, or the millions of hours of research that have been done by men and women for the last hundred years trying to put our space program together.

What we need is people in, in bitching red outfits, flying around through space, making deals with jaw-was and fighting Tuscan raiders.

The Empire will not win, even though their grain embargo is stalled in the Imperial Senate. I think we can stride manfully forward.

Hi, I'm the other Vice President, Mrs. Mike Pence. I sound exactly like my husband because I'm both his mother and his caregiver.

I need you to help me to join to fight against those who would kill us, the Jupiterians, and especially those from far far away who have been downgraded to plutonians.

They once had a planet, and now it's but a satellite. Their anger has been turned towards Earth, and we must be ready to fight them at any time. And I thank you.

The Smartest Man in the World Proofcast takes to the ether. This time from the salubious confines of the capsule of Proopertude launching provisantly from lower California.

The capsule inhabits Lieutenant Jennifer Canega, and Lieutenant Commander Ryan McManaman. I'm your captain, Greg Proops.

I have a higher rank than everyone else because I'm a white middle-aged man.

Welcome to the best week in American history. It's finally going to happen in my lifetime. I was promised it when I had a major mat nace and when I was little.

You see, when I was a kid, we had GI Joe's. GI Joe's with a definition of virility. It was a plastic doll with no puny denda, no genitalia whatsoever, that had a scar in its face that it could touch in times of danger to remind him when he was in Guadalcanal or Jenbenfew.

GI Joe's job was to fight Nazis, even though it was clearly 40 years after World War II. Then in order to update GI Joe, there was an action GI Joe that I kid you not had life like hair, which meant that it felt like I can't even describe to you.

I don't know what your first sexual fumblings were like, but it felt like that. There was no reason for the hair to feel that way as a child.

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