Which Child Would Have Been the Best Heir to the Wonka Throne?

Plumbing the Death Star

Sanspants Radio

Tv & Film, Comedy

4.8 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 18 August 2024

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Sure Charlie Bucket got the factory because everyone else failed quicker, but was that the best move by Wonka? Running a business is hard work. Running a questionable legal chocolate manufacturing business with multiple scandals involving workers rights, fair pay and strange and unique injuries to guests is possibly harder. We don’t think Charlie has it in him to bribe officials or squash any dissenting opinions about unions. His amoral failings will be the death of Wonka chocolate and Augustus Gloop will have died for nothing. At least under the ruthless eye of one of the other children, Gloop’s legacy will live on. But more importantly Wonka’s legacy will live on. Sure it might be Wonka-Salt now, but the chocolate’s so good you’ll die for it. Just ask Augustus. You can’t. Because he’s a dead little boy. Due to woeful safety regulations at the chocolate factory. But you know he’d say it and mean every word.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone look it's us plumbing the death star that's right and we're here to tell you that we are doing a live show
0:07.1	In Melbourne
0:09.3	It's like a goat my dude in Melbourne
0:12.3	Speaking of goats the goat man himself, James, won't be there, but I will.
0:16.1	Yeah, Joel Simon's coming. We'll be here. If you are in Australia and you're jealous,
0:21.1	well if you're in your Melbourne specifically, and you're jealous
0:23.2	because you can't come to any of the UK live shows, guess what you can come to this one?
0:27.0	It's the Comedy Republic.
0:28.4	On the 22nd of August at 630 PM, Plumbing the Death Star, we will be performing live for the first time in like two years.
0:34.7	Exactly that's excited. In Melbourne. Tickets are on sale right now. You can keep that
0:39.4	stuttering. It's good. This is good. It's fresh. People want to know what we're going to be like live and it's like this.
0:45.0	It's going to be like this. Tickets are on sale through the Comedy Republic website. They're on sale now.
0:49.0	28 bucks a pop.
0:50.0	They're also on sale through the Sand Smash radio website.
0:52.0	Which will then take you Sandspist Radio website.
0:52.5	Which will then take your comedy public website.
0:54.8	It's really like, you know, look, at a click, at a click.
0:57.2	I had a click, add a little bit extra effort for you.
0:59.8	So come see us live, it'll be like this, except you can say stuff back and you can yell.
1:05.0	You're like, hey, shut up.
1:07.0	No yelling. Have you ever been to a shop before?
1:10.0	It'll be good.
	...

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