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19 years old, young, just starting a life built up my own decisions and I knew two things simultaneously.

I knew I loved her, desperately deeply, and I knew I was moving away.

To the other side of the world, to Japan, the chance of lifetime I had to take it, I had to,

and mostly, in the days leading up to getting on that plane, she and I, we didn't talk about it.

Even as she helped me pack up my brand new suitcase, looked for Japanese English dictionaries,

we avoided mentioning what we were packing for.

The herd of elephants in the room, but I wanted her to know I wanted to give her something to make her understand that even though I had to do this,

that she was special to me.

Let's knock off to a jeweler.

He helped me pick out the most beautiful bracelet I could afford.

And he framed it in a beautiful box. I knew she would love it.

And she would appreciate that this is just a bump that this year would go quickly.

That we have our entire lives ahead of us so excited to give it to her.

It could say everything that we had not.

On the night walking next to her along the footpath, I pulled out the jewelry box and handed it to her the look of joy, elation.

And she opened that box to see a bracelet.

And I know instantly that she did not expect to see a bracelet.

The disappointment, the almost sorrow, the almost anger, the chasm, the acceptance almost.

As she placed a bracelet on her wrist, thanked me.

And we continued walking down the path.

To live, it's completely different than it had been just a few moments before.

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