This is Hidden Brain, I'm Shankar Vedanta.

There are some things in life that seem to elude us, no matter how hard we try to hold

onto them.

Memories can be like that.

So can happiness.

Contentment often seems tantalizingly close, but recedes as we reach for it.

It all raises a question, is pursuing happiness the best way to be happy?

The thing that has brought me the most lasting joy in my life is giving back to others.

I think it's my friend.

Cleaning out the words, slowing down, appreciating the small things.

One thing that's brought me happiness is my family.

I don't think it's possible to find everlasting happiness, but the thing that has helped

me the most is giving up looking for it.

This week on Hidden Brain, the psychology of why happiness often slips through our fingers

and how to savor and stretch out our joys.

We all know what it's like to want something that will make us happy.

Maybe it's a dream vacation or getting a great job or meeting a soulmate.

But all too often, when we get what we want, reality turns out to be very different than

we expected.

At the University of California Riverside, psychologist Sonia Lopamirski explores the mismatch between

what we expect will make us happy and what actually makes us happy.

We began by talking about a moment when she felt this mismatch in her own life.

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