Hello, hello, you guys, and welcome back to Save Not Soft.

If I'm already crying, that means something's happening.

We're not going to teach today, you guys. I don't know how to make episodes like this,

because I always teach. Today, I got to tell you guys something. And I don't know how long

this episode's going to be. I don't know all of what I'm going to get into. But I have to share

where I'm really at right now of how these past few years have been so excruciating. And it has bled into every area of my life where I feel like

I just have to urgently make this video because I feel like I feel like I owe it and I feel like

I can't rest until I just tell you guys where I'm at.

This is already a bad start.

I hope you guys are doing great.

Happy Tuesday.

I'm filming this Friday, May 22nd.

And I want to come fully raw with my motion where I'm at, everything that's happening.

I pray that this video is informational and simultaneously you're able to be heard, loved and seen through it. That is my hope and my goal. But I'm probably not coming the most I don't even want to use the word unwise because I

don't believe that's right I don't think I'm coming as poise as I would like to be I'm coming

very vulnerable and there's some things I want to share

with you guys that I cannot bottle in anymore. Because if I bottle it in, I will keep feeling guilty.

And I have to say it. And no, I'm not dealing with a secret sin and there's no infidelity in my marriage

and whatever it may be. I have been struggling mentally really bad the past two years, and it has

played a lot, not just in this podcast, but in my life, in my marriage, and my friendships,

and the way I think of myself and more importantly my faith.

And it came from a multitude of different circumstances, one of them being a very traumatic event that happened to me, that started happening about two years ago, but started exceeding rapidly

...