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Modern Love

When You Think You Know Your Parents

Modern Love

The New York Times

Nytimes, Redemption, Society & Culture, New York Times, Love, Essay, Storytelling, Loss, Nyt

4.48.7K Ratings

🗓️ 2 March 2022

⏱️ 21 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ariel Sabar was visiting his parents in his childhood home in California, when he awoke one morning to high-pitched giggles coming from his parents’ room. He opened the door to a Norman Rockwell-type image: his father, 70, riding his stationary bike in his pajamas; and his 6-year-old son perched on its frame, cheerleading for his grandfather. Ariel was stunned: “As a boy, I’d seen this house as a battlefield, a place where children and parents less often joshed than jousted,” he wrote in his 2009 Modern Love essay. Was his relationship with his father as turbulent as he remembered, or had he blinded himself to happier times? In today’s episode, Ariel starts to see his father in a new light, as his son brings them closer together. Then, we hear a Tiny Love Story about a woman who took a DNA test that led to a life-changing discovery (fun fact: coincidentally, she is a geneticist). Join Modern Love for a virtual event on March 9 (RSVP at nytimes.com/morningatnight). And if you’re an undergraduate at an American college or university, submit your story to our college essay contest. Visit nytimes.com/essaycontest for details.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Love now in different forms.

0:06.0

Love is stronger than anything.

0:09.0

And I love you more than anything.

0:13.0

From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.

0:18.0

This is the Modern Love podcast.

0:21.0

Today's story is about the love between a parent and a child.

0:26.0

And what happens when that child grows up to be a parent?

0:31.0

It's called a time to put aside the armor, written by Ariel Saber,

0:35.0

and read by Eduardo Ballerini.

0:38.0

On a recent cross-country visit to my parents in California,

0:50.0

I came down from my old childhood bedroom, still blurry with jet lag.

1:03.0

I was startled by the sound of a boy's laughter for my parents from.

1:09.0

I tipped out to the door and heard my father's low voice,

1:15.0

and more of those high-pitched giggles.

1:21.0

When I was a boy, this house was a battlefield.

1:26.0

I clashed most often with my father.

1:31.0

Growing up in Los Angeles in the 1980s, I wanted to be one of those

1:36.0

postcard-perfect California boys.

1:39.0

But the golden hair, the spray of freckles, the surfers, unflappable cool.

1:45.0

But certain facts of ancestry had made that impossible.

1:49.0

My father was an olive-skinned man born in the mountains of Iraq,

1:52.0

a fish out of water immigrant, a mutilated English,

...

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