When Two Open Marriages Collide

Modern Love

The New York Times

Love, New York Times, Nytimes, Essay, Loss, Storytelling, Society & Culture, Redemption, Nyt

4.3 • 9K Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2021

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What are the boundaries of an open marriage? And what are the boundaries of an open marriage when your wife’s boyfriend has an accident that puts him in a coma? Do you introduce yourself to the hospital workers as the patient’s girlfriend’s husband? Wayne Scott and his wife, Elizabeth, have a “creative arrangement,” as Wayne puts it in his Modern Love essay. They share the children, the cats and the mortgage, but they have permission to see other people romantically. On today’s episode, we hear Wayne’s story about an accident that tested the parameters of their marriage, and we talk to Wayne and Elizabeth about how they have navigated their relationship in the years since.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm Dan Jones from The New York Times.
0:18.4	And I'm Mia Lee.
0:19.6	This is the Modern Love Podcast.
0:22.3	This week's essay really broke open for me, the idea of what a marriage can contain and
0:27.8	how traditional boundaries don't necessarily have to apply.
0:31.4	And how actually expanding those boundaries can help your marriage and strengthen your
0:37.2	bond with your spouse.
0:42.8	The essay is called Two Open Marriages in One Small Room.
0:47.5	It's written by Wayne Scott and read by Eduardo Ballerini.
0:59.1	I want to see the body.
1:01.1	Said my 12-year-old son, Miles.
1:03.9	He and I were sitting in our minivan outside of the hospital.
1:08.0	Miles said it's not the body, I said.
1:11.3	You only say the body when a person is dead.
1:15.0	Erick's still Eric.
1:17.0	You just had a terrible accident.
1:19.8	I texted my wife again.
1:22.0	We're waiting in the parking lot.
1:24.4	Will you come down?
1:25.8	Your burrito is getting cold.
1:29.2	We weren't supposed to go inside.
1:32.0	This was intended as a quick favor, bringing my wife dinner so she wouldn't have to eat
	...

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