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ShrinkChicks

When Therapy Isn’t Working (Or So It Seems)

ShrinkChicks

Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT and Emmalee Bierly, LMFT

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Relationships

5717 Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2025

⏱️ 43 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this week’s episode of ShrinkChicks, Em and Jen dive into the murky waters of when therapy isn’t working—and how to tell if the problem is the process, the therapist, or your own discomfort with growth. They talk about red flags and realistic timelines, the importance of therapeutic fit, and why sometimes therapy feels worse before it feels better. They also mythbust common misconceptions (no, your therapist isn’t supposed to give you all the answers), explore what it means when you keep saying the same things in session, and share how to get back into therapy after a not-so-great experience. Plus: how to cope after an emotional session, why your partner doesn’t have to like your therapist, and the difference between rumination and reflection. Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! PS: Fast forward to around 6:40 to skip the intro and get straight to today’s content. Get Matched With One of Our Therapists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ at The Therapy Group! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ShrinkChicks on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Know Yourself Grow Yourself Journal⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!! Check out ShrinkChicks on YouTube by subscribing here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/channel/UCrxuhDqoL4ML3UE8b2J2BBg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A special thank you to this week's sponsors for supporting ShrinkChicks! We have these exclusive offers for our listeners: Wildgrain: Get $30 off your first box - PLUS free croissants in every box - when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wildgrain.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to start your subscription or use code SHRINKCHICKS at checkout Quince: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/shrinkchicks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order Greenlight: Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠greenlight.com/shrinkchicks Green Chef: Head to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Greenchef.com/50SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code 50SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping

Transcript

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0:00.0

This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation.

0:04.7

There's a difference between unproductive discomfort and productive discomfort.

0:10.7

Unproductive discomfort is feeling stuck, feeling misaligned, feeling dismissed,

0:17.4

feeling judged in some way.

0:19.7

That is not something that is productive in therapy.

0:23.9

Productive discomfort is when you feel emotionally stretched. Maybe you're dealing with things

0:30.3

that you haven't dealt with in a long time, but you feel safe, you feel connected, but it's just

0:37.2

processing difficult feelings.

0:43.8

Welcome back to another episode of shrink chicks.

0:52.7

Take a seat on our virtual therapy couch and get ready to learn all about, well, you.

0:57.8

I'm Emily Beerley.

0:58.9

And I'm Jennifer Chakin.

1:00.2

And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts.

1:04.3

We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy practice with down-to-earth therapists just like us.

1:11.6

Your session is starting, so get ready to know yourself and grow yourself.

1:18.9

Hey, Jen.

1:19.8

Hey, Em.

1:20.6

We're just fighting about Twilight right now.

1:22.3

Yeah, yeah, a big fight.

1:24.2

We're in one of the biggest fights.

1:26.0

We've ever had over Twilight. and do you want to do you

1:30.0

want to share why i just feel like you're defending chris bella and i don't know why

...

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