When the 'Needing Space' and 'Needing Resolution' Partners Marry Each Other: Episode 419
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 21 October 2025
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
It seems like the "I need more space" and "I need to talk this out now" partners always find each other! This is the basis of the Pursuer/Withdrawer as well as the Anxious/Avoidant partner dynamics in marriage. When this dynamic happens, it always causes more tension, defensiveness, anxiety, and distance than the initial topic of conversation. If this sounds at all like dynamics you and your partner get into, you certainly are not alone!
In today's episode you will hear more detail about what's really happening for each partner, whether it is the need for space or resolution. There are many factors that contribute to this, like personality type and emotional processing capacity. But tune in to hear about details you would have never thought of, hear more about how this dynamic has played out in our own marriage over the years, and then specific steps you can take to keep this dynamic from escalating simple conversations. This will make you both feel even more secure, understood, and loved in your relationship.
👉 Don't forget to join us on our FREE Live Marriage Webclass on: The 5 Root Causes of Conflict and Disconnection in Marriage. This live event only happens 2x per year. If you can't attend live, still register, as we will send you the replay. So don't miss out!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empowered Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring |
| 0:04.6 | relationship advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay on the same |
| 0:09.8 | team no matter the challenge that you face. I am one of your host, Erin Freeman. And I'm |
| 0:13.6 | Jocelyn Freeman, but you all just know it says the Freeman's. And welcome to this episode about |
| 0:17.9 | when needing space and needing resolution, marry. Because truly, most marriages, |
| 0:25.0 | including ours, which we're going to share a little bit more of our story, our journey together, |
| 0:29.4 | but also the couples that we work with, we find it's very rare that both people cope and work |
| 0:37.0 | through their emotions at the same pace or that |
| 0:39.7 | they both, for example, have to talk things out right away or they both need space. |
| 0:43.9 | And they're both willing to. |
| 0:45.5 | I want to hash us out. |
| 0:46.5 | Great. |
| 0:47.5 | Me too. |
| 0:48.5 | Let's get into it. |
| 0:49.5 | It really is usually like one person needs space to cool off to reflect, you know, just be alone. And the other is like, |
| 0:57.6 | no, I don't feel okay until we talk it out. And that's kind of funny, right? And there's many |
| 1:02.4 | reasons as to why those two people can attract each other in. But remember that a strong marriage |
| 1:09.9 | isn't about being the same. It isn't, hey, I need to make you |
| 1:14.1 | the same type of communicator as I am or you need to be able to process emotions at the same pace. |
| 1:19.7 | It isn't about that. It's about understanding each other's differences, why you are the way that you |
| 1:26.1 | are, and then also being able to really co-create a |
| 1:30.9 | secure, positive, healthy dynamic where you both feel like this. This is the key. You both feel |
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