When Mom (Donna Adelson) Lives in Your Head: Enmeshment’s Toll on Adult Life
True Crime Today | Daily True Crime News & Interviews
Tony Brueski
4.2 • 612 Ratings
🗓️ 4 September 2025
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
From mandatory Sunday dinners to overbearing in-laws, the conversation highlights how enmeshed families suffocate independence—even decades later. Stacy shares her own jaw-dropping story about an ex-mother-in-law who tried to control everything, from prom night to medical crises, underscoring how deeply this pattern runs.
Shavaun explains how parents like Donna Adelson can live “inside” a child’s head, influencing every decision—even when physically absent. For many, the control doesn’t fade until the parent dies, leaving a strange combination of grief and freedom. Some adult children even describe it as a physical weight being lifted the day the controlling parent is buried.
We explore how these dynamics breed anxiety, depression, and identity confusion. People raised in such homes often replicate the cycle, marrying partners who resemble the controlling parent, chasing the same dysfunctional approval, or reliving unresolved trauma.
This discussion shows how enmeshment can feel like a cult on a micro level: unquestioned authority, alternate reality, roles assigned to each family member, and loyalty above all else. It’s a chilling framework that helps explain why certain families, like the Adelsons, cross moral and legal boundaries.
Hashtags:
#AdelsonTrial #DonnaAdelson #FamilyTrauma #ShavaunScott #HiddenKillers #TrueCrime #DanMarkel #EnmeshedFamilies #PsychologyOfCrime #TrueCrimeCommunity
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | A Better Help ad. |
| 0:02.3 | Lewis Capaldi partnered with Better Help to get word out about how important therapy can be. |
| 0:07.6 | I struggle most weeks to get up, get myself up and ready and go to therapy or whatever. |
| 0:13.0 | Even like to open the laptop to talk to, my therapist sometimes could be really difficult. |
| 0:17.4 | But I do it because I realise how important it is for me to continue to feel |
| 0:21.3 | good. Because I felt the best I've felt in a long time through therapy. |
| 0:25.6 | Learn more about online therapy at betterhelp.com. |
| 0:29.5 | A better help ad. |
| 0:31.5 | Lewis Capaldi partnered with BetterHelp to get word out about how important therapy can be. |
| 0:36.8 | I struggle most weeks to get up, get myself up and ready and go to therapy or whatever. |
| 0:42.2 | Even like to open the laptop to talk to, my therapist sometimes could be really difficult. |
| 0:46.6 | But I do it because I realise how important it is for me to continue to feel good. |
| 0:51.0 | I felt the best I've felt in a long time through therapy. |
| 0:54.9 | Learn more about online therapy at betterhelp.com. |
| 0:58.5 | This is Hidden Killers Live with Tony Bruske, Stacey Cole and Todd Michaels. |
| 1:06.4 | Do Amish families typically realize that they're abnormal or does it take outside intervention |
| 1:11.6 | for something to happen before someone says, hey? |
| 1:15.6 | Yeah, I don't think they realize they're abnormal. |
| 1:18.6 | And I think it's also true for disengaged families. |
| 1:22.6 | I came from a very disengaged family where you were told at 18, you better have a plan and get out of the |
| 1:28.3 | house and you're going to be on your own. And so there was no parental involvement in life, |
| 1:34.0 | certainly from adolescence on. Parents just kept their hands off. And I think that sort of set me up |
... |
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