When Kids Test Boundaries, What's Really Going On and What to Do!
Parenting Beyond Discipline
Erin Royer, MA Clinical Psychology, Child Development Specialist
4.4 • 630 Ratings
🗓️ 11 January 2024
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
You hear it all the time, "Kids will test your boundaries." "He's testing me!" "It's normal for kids to test the boundaries." In this episode, I cover testing from all different angles and scenarios and offer insight into what's happening and how to approach it so it doesn't turn into a battle of wills. I cover boundary testing, resistance, and lying.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Kids are constantly growing and changing and developing physically, but also emotionally and |
| 0:06.2 | cognitively. They are on a path of developing towards full independence. It's hardwired, |
| 0:12.6 | our development into an independent adult is hardwired into us. And so much of the discord |
| 0:18.6 | between parents and kids is because kids aren't getting enough |
| 0:22.1 | opportunities to test and stretch their development into independent people. |
| 0:27.9 | But they often don't have the communication skills to share this with adults. |
| 0:32.5 | The younger they are, the fewer skills they have to explain these feelings. |
| 0:36.3 | So in order to take power back, in order to feel |
| 0:39.0 | like they can pull some power back and make some independent decisions, they will refuse to do |
| 0:44.1 | certain things. They'll refuse a task, such as getting dressed. It looks like they don't want to |
| 0:48.6 | have independence. It looks like they want you to take care of them. It looks like the complete opposite. Like they're |
| 0:55.1 | seeking more adult involvement when in fact they're frustrated about not getting enough |
| 0:59.2 | opportunity to practice independence. Let's talk about something that might be keeping you up at |
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| 2:00.0 | Welcome to the Your Village podcast, Parenting Beyond Discipline. |
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