When Kids Hide Their Feelings and Reject Our Comfort

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 19 March 2024

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We're trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even angry, and yells at the parent to go away. The parent asks, "Do you have any advice for helping her to be more comfortable with feeling sad or angry?"

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Wundery Plus subscribers can listen to Unruffled ad free right now.
0:05.0	Join Wundery Plus in the Wundery app or on Apple Podcasts.
0:09.0	Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled. Today I'm going to be talking about an issue that many of you have asked about over the years.
0:22.0	It's the natural concern that we have. have asked about over the years.
0:22.7	It's the natural concern that we have
0:25.3	when our child seems to be pushing us away
0:28.8	when they're upset, or they seem uncomfortable expressing their feelings,
0:35.0	even when we make sure to let them know we're very, very open to that.
0:40.0	Maybe we've read or heard or listen to podcasts like mine talking about how important it is for children to feel safe to
0:47.9	Share all their feelings with us that we we want to cultivate an environment for them where all feelings are allowed, not all behaviors,
0:58.1	but all feelings, and how this is a path to their resiliency and emotional fluency and emotional health.
1:07.0	So it's obviously worrisome when our child doesn't seem to be following that pattern, that they're
1:15.2	rejecting us when we try to comfort them, they are trying to hide their feelings,
1:21.2	maybe they're saying I'm fine, I'm fine, or running away from us,
1:27.1	what does this mean?
1:28.7	How can we unpack this and what can we do to make it better? That's what I'm going to be talking about today.
1:36.0	And this time I'll start with a note that I received from a parent.
1:42.0	Some of the specifics in this note you probably won't relate to,
1:46.2	but the dynamic between this parent and her daughter is a common one. So this was a message I received on Instagram.
1:55.9	Hi Janet, my husband and I are separating. We still cohabit,
2:00.1	but I go away when it's his turn to have them 50% of the time.
2:05.4	I've noticed when I come back my three-year-old seems very mad at me.
	...

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