because what we think we're doing is protecting our kids. And really what we're doing,

though, is we're telling them that discomfort is dangerous, that we should just edit it out of

existence and that we should, you know, pretend that the monster is not under the bed, right?

We should shove it under the rug. That doesn't work very well. Most post-traumatic parents, like most people that I speak to who had a difficult childhood or a difficult early adulthood, and now that's making it hard for them to parent know about shoving problems under the rug, right? I speak to so many parents who were, let's say, the child of a functional alcoholic, and we just didn't talk about the time that mom was yelling.

We just didn't talk about the way grandpa acts, you know, at any holiday meal.

We, like, we don't talk about it, we don't talk about it, we don't talk about it.

And we know what kind of cumulative damage, don't talk about it, don't think about it does to us.

But then we have that same instinct with our kids. Like, just don't think about it, don't think about it does to us. But then we have that same instinct with our kids. Like, just don't think about it. No, no, no, no. Like, you know, that was just catch up. You know, like that kind of thing. Hello and welcome to the minimalist moms podcast. Joining me today is child psychologist, Dr. Robin Koslowitz, and she's here to discuss a growing challenge for parents, kids who can't stop replaying violent images that they've seen

online. While I would suggest that this topic has been increasingly relevant over the past

several years, after last week's events, I felt this conversation is particularly pertinent.

Many children are saying, I see it every time I close my eyes. And most parents' instinct is

to reassure with, just think about

something else. But Dr. Koslowitz explains why that backfires and what children actually need

to hear in order to process disturbing images without getting stuck in them. She also shares

powerful insights on the difference between healthy vigilance and trauma-driven hypervigilance,

something she calls the trauma app metaphor,

and practical concrete tools to help kids feel safe without overprotection, so they grow stronger,

not more anxious. And I do want to say that if you have little ones in the car, this might be one

that you save for when you're alone. And then lastly, if you have been struggling yourself with

replaying violent images in your head that you may have even accidentally have seen, this wisdom can be applied not just to our children, but to ourselves too.

And as moms, we know the most important thing we can do is to protect our mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

And yet, that can be really difficult to put into practice.

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