When Juggling Isn’t Joyful: The Cost of Carrying It All

Black Girl Burnout

Kelley Bonner

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 764 Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2025

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this deeply personal episode of Black Girl Burnout, host Kelley opens up about the exhaustion that comes with trying to hold everything together—career, caregiving, friendships, and self-care. She examines why so many high-achieving Black women feel pressured to “keep all the balls in the air,” and what it means to pause, realign, and choose peace over perfection. Kelley invites listeners to question the story behind their constant juggling and to gently let go of the myth that balance means doing it all.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

The belief that we can “have it all” and “do it all” is a system trap that fuels burnout.
Silence around struggle keeps us isolated—naming the cost of success is an act of healing.
Balance isn’t the goal; alignment is. True peace comes from dropping what doesn’t serve you.
Giving yourself permission to pause is not failure—it’s an act of reclaiming your capacity.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS & TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – Kelley shares her personal experience of juggling multiple roles and feeling stretched thin.
03:00 – The myths of “having it all” and “doing it all” as silent traps for high-achieving women.
07:50 – Why “balance” keeps us burned out—and how “alignment” offers a softer, truer alternative.
15:30 – Practical reflection: What are you juggling right now, and what can you safely put down?

GENTLE CALL TO ACTION

Take a quiet moment this week to notice what you’ve been juggling out of fear or obligation. Ask yourself: What can I set down, even for a little while? Share your reflections with us on social media @blackgirlburnout, or leave a review to help another Black woman find this space of rest and relief.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout Podcast, Kelly here. And today I want to talk about what's been
0:09.2	kind of on my heart and I've been thinking a lot about, which is what it costs to keep everything
0:14.8	in the air. I know many of us right now feel like we're juggling, which is why the title of this episode
0:21.8	is when juggling isn't joyful and the cost of caring at all. I felt the need to talk about
0:27.6	this episode because I feel like this season of my life, I don't know about you, I have so many
0:33.8	roles that I am holding right now. I am a business owner times two. I am a daughter of a mom
0:42.0	who's recently been widowed and who's been displaced and helping her move back in her place.
0:47.1	Due to like flooding, I have these roles as a friend and trying to keep up with what's going
0:52.4	on in my friend's life. I have to create content.
0:55.6	I'm a content creator. I lead different spaces and people depend on me. I pay people's
1:02.7	salaries, so to speak. And there is these moments in time where I feel like if I just pause, everything is going to crumble.
1:13.6	Like everything I'm holding together is going to fall apart.
1:17.3	And that's just the roles that I'm carrying.
1:19.5	That's not even talking about the things that I have to do in my own life personally.
1:25.2	You know, managing doctor's appointments.
1:26.9	I have had multiple doctors lately
1:30.4	have just been canceling appointments because of whatever is going on in their world. And I have
1:36.5	struggled to find the time to follow back up, to make follow up appointments with them. So I'm
1:43.2	struggling and running to do that. I have let things
1:46.6	fall through the cracks. I've had like, I never have late payments. I'm pretty good at scheduling my
1:52.7	finances. I've gotten late payments. And then I've got to go call and fight about that. I've had
1:58.1	insurance issues where I'm feeling like, oh my gosh, I got overcharged
	...

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