When is it OK to Get Remarried with Kids?

The Dr. Laura Podcast

Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM

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4.6 • 6.3K Ratings

🗓️ 7 May 2021

⏱️ 5 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When is it OK to Get Remarried with Kids? - Sara wants to follow Dr. Laura's guidelines for getting remarried when children are involved and calls for some clarification. - Dr. Laura: "Second marriages have a higher fail rate if the kids have not launched."

Transcript

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0:00.0	Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern time on serious XM.
0:10.0	I'm 11 Sarah. Welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Hi. What's up? So I have a question about a remarriage with children and I definitely am completely on board with your thoughts on that. Wait until they're grown.
0:29.0	I guess I just need a little clarification about some timing of that when they're no longer going to be living at home.
0:39.0	Okay, so if they're going to college. No, that's not what I'm talking about. If they're no longer going to be living at home. If you're married to their dad, you can come in and out and do whatever you want.
0:53.0	But when you're thinking about bringing another man into the circumstance, it's whenever they're not going to be back in the house.
1:03.0	Okay, so even for a decade, summer.
1:07.0	Yeah, summer.
1:10.0	Yeah, I know you're just asking. I'm just answering.
1:14.0	I'm just talking about how to minimize the chance of your relationship failing. Right. And their relationship as a higher fail rate. If the kids have not launched.
1:26.0	Okay.
1:29.0	Okay. So just so I'm clear. So launching meaning.
1:35.0	I know some are at. Yeah. When they're on to their house out of college. Huh. Well, I don't know some people are launched when they go to college. They work a job.
1:47.0	They have someplace to live that take care of themselves. Right. Even while they're in college.
1:52.0	Right. So if they're still coming home on vacations and all of that, it's best to wait until they're more independent and living on their own.
2:01.0	And then they're not going to be able to minimize the chance is that your new relationship will fail because of the friction.
2:07.0	Okay. Very good. Well, that is very helpful. I appreciate it.
2:12.0	Because there are kids. You have a relationship with them. And there are things you would allow and be comfortable with that he would not.
2:20.0	Right. Then he starts getting resentful. You two start fighting the kids in the middle of that.
2:25.0	And then we have a 70% divorce rate. Right.
2:29.0	And the second marriage is have a better chance of success if the kids are launched. And if the kids like the person.
2:38.0	Right. And as long as the person realizes they are not a surrogate parent, they're never disciplined or give orders.
2:44.0	That's important also. A lot of people, especially men come into a situation and feel like they're going to be the man of the house. No, they're not.
	...

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