When Good Things Happen, Why Do We Brace for the Bad?
On Health
Aviva Romm
4.8 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 8 January 2025
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I used to believe that for every good thing that happened to me, something bad had to happen as well to even it out, like a universal balancing system. Every time something good was going to happen, I always thought to myself, “What will the payback be?” In my years of experience working with and talking to women, I have learned that lots of women live with this fear, often for a long time.
Listen in as I talk about why we have this fear, acknowledge that you’re not crazy for having it, and how to shift out of this kind of thinking so you can live your life with freedom instead of fear.
In this episode I discuss:
- How fear keeps you from taking risks - and how this protects and hinders us
- How negativity bias is a symptom of adrenal overload
- The role of the amygdala in fear
- How your brain remembers threats
- How negative emotions get attached to positive emotions
- What happens when we go into fight or flight mode
- What intuition really is
- How to get out of this fear
- The power of neuroplasticity
- The importance of being aware of your feelings
- How to use cognitive disruption to shift from fear to freedom
- Why I love taking deep breaths
- The value of journaling
- How to practice forgiveness
Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | From the stuff your mother never told you to the stuff your doctor never learn. |
| 0:09.1 | On health is what happens when a midwife plus a Yale trained MD shares about all things women's health. |
| 0:15.5 | From periods to menopause, sex to reproductive health politics, motherhood to mental health, |
| 0:21.0 | join me for taboo-busting conversations that demystify and destigmatize our bodies, |
| 0:26.5 | all while bridging the gap between conventional medicine and wellness. |
| 0:30.2 | Along the way, we'll be exploring the science and wisdom of how our bodies work, |
| 0:34.2 | what makes us well, what gets in the way, and how we can live our best lives |
| 0:38.6 | on our terms. When it comes to women's health and well-being, there's nothing we won't talk about. |
| 0:44.1 | The new medicine for women is here. I'm Dr. Avivaram. Welcome to the podcast. |
| 1:11.4 | For many years of my life, in fact, for decades, I lived with the pervasive feeling that if something really great happened in my life, there was going to be some kind of universal counterbalance to that in the form of something really bad happening to me. And that feeling got even worse when I became a mom because the stakes became really high. |
| 1:17.3 | So in my somehow in my mind, if something really great happened like I got a book contract, |
| 1:24.7 | then I felt like I had to be on the lookout for something horrible happening |
| 1:29.3 | in my life, like to one of my kids, that there was going to be some kind of karmic payback, |
| 1:34.0 | not for anything I had done in the past in that sense of karma, but somehow some balancing |
| 1:38.7 | of some universal weighing system. And for years, I really struggled with that so that when something |
| 1:47.7 | great was about to happen, or even if I was going to take a risk on doing something big, |
| 1:53.1 | I was constantly weighing back and forth. Well, if I do that, what's the payback going to be? |
| 1:58.2 | What bad is going to happen? What am I going to lose? If I got something, I was going to lose something. Now, I know that sounds like a little bit of crazy thinking |
| 2:05.9 | and a little bit of crazy magical thinking. It's not. And I'm going to explain to you why today. |
| 2:12.4 | But I really want to honor this fear that we live with, and particularly women live with even more, and |
| 2:19.0 | moms live with in an exaggerated sense. You know, for a long time, I thought it was just somehow |
| 2:24.7 | me, like it was just my own cuckoo way of thinking or my own negative thinking. But as I started |
... |
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