When Everything Feels Personal
ShrinkChicks
Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT and Emmalee Bierly, LMFT
4.9 • 755 Ratings
🗓️ 12 January 2026
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week on ShrinkChicks, Em and Jen talk about how to take things less personally…and why that’s harder than it sounds. After one of their posts went viral, they unpack why giving people the benefit of the doubt isn’t the same as abandoning boundaries, and how expectations, context, and insecurity shape what hits us the hardest.
They explore how self-knowledge makes it easier to stop internalizing everything, how comparison fuels reactivity, and when something actually is personal versus when it’s about the other person entirely. The conversation also covers honest feedback, moodiness, and why it’s not your job to manage everyone else’s emotions, especially if you learned to do that early on.
Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! PS: Fast forward to around 4:40 to skip the intro and get straight to today’s content.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | And once again, what would it be like to sit down and write out? |
| 0:02.5 | Okay, what are the things that I remember over the past few years taking really personally? |
| 0:06.2 | What has stuck with me? |
| 0:06.9 | What has felt really bad? |
| 0:08.3 | And for you to do that when you're not taking something personally? |
| 0:12.0 | Much better. |
| 0:13.1 | Take like a survey. |
| 0:14.5 | Take an insecurity survey of yourself. |
| 0:17.8 | What are the things I had a really strong reaction to? |
| 0:22.8 | And what's going on there? |
| 0:40.9 | Welcome back to another episode of shrink chicks. Take a seat on our virtual therapy couch and get ready to learn all about, well, you. |
| 0:42.0 | I'm Emily Beerley. |
| 0:43.3 | And I'm Jennifer Chakin. |
| 0:47.3 | And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts. |
| 0:54.6 | We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy practice with down-to-earth therapists just like us. Your session is starting, so get ready to know yourself and grow yourself. |
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... |
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