When did a mansplainer get shut down?

About a year into our marriage, we bought a dining table and chairs, our first real furniture.

My wife was so happy that she posted the pictures on Facebook and wanted her mum to look.

Her mom commented on the phone that it was a nice oval table. My wife is upset. You didn't look. Yes, I did. It's not oval. It's, it's

rectangular. No, it's an oval. I looked. My wife finally gets her mum to go look, her mom sees that

she's incorrect and creates this jam. Well, that's what I call an oval. You mean you call rectangles

ovals? This has become a running gag to us. Whenever we lose an argument, we always end it with, well, that's what I call it. Was it the zoo? I said it was crazy that there are penguins in South Africa. My friend says I'm wrong, and that there aren't any in Africa because it's way too hot for them there.

I told him the only reason I bought it up is because we were literally at the African penguin exhibit.

And the guy who insisted I was pronouncing my own name wrong. I was in class once where my

classmate said his last name was Osborne, and some guy kept arguing, I'm pretty sure it's

Osborne. He got angry and yelled out, I'm pretty sure it's Osborn. He got angry and

yelled out, I'm pretty sure I know how to say my last freaking name. Funny stuff. I was a stay-at-home

dad for my two daughters. My youngest was a toddler at the time. Had a lady tell me that I had no

business bathing my children because I was male and my kids

were female. I welcomed her to the 21st century and told her to mind her own fricking

business. I was the person who needed correcting, actually. In grade two, I explained to my entire

class, as pretentiously as a seven-year-old could, that the singular of sheep is sheep. My logic was the

singular of geese is goose, and that rule must apply to sheep as well. I still remember the other

kids looking at me like I was dropped on my head as a baby. Yeah, the English language is

inconsistent as all heck. That's what you get when you jam a whole bunch of other also inconsistent languages together over the course of a millennium

and then let it develop by itself.

Senior Kindergarten, I had an activity for Mother's Day to colour some pre-printed cards

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