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Motherkind

What Your Child Is Really Triggering In You with Gabor Maté

Motherkind

Zoe Blaskey

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.8863 Ratings

🗓️ 18 May 2026

⏱️ 10 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if your child’s behaviour isn’t something to control… but something to understand?In this powerful conversation, Zoe sits down with one of the world’s leading voices on trauma, attachment and child development to explore the invisible patterns many of us carry into motherhood.Why do our children’s big emotions feel so triggering? Why do we instinctively want to shut down tears, tantrums or "difficult" behaviour? And what if so much of what we’re reacting to has very little to do with our children at all?This episode is a compassionate invitation to look beneath behaviour - theirs and ours - and understand how our own childhood experiences shape the mothers we become.💡 In this moment, you’ll learn:
Why your child's "acting out" may actually be communication
The difference between behaviour that needs controlling and needs that need understanding
Why motherhood can bring unresolved parts of our own childhood to the surface
What it really means to be "triggered" by our children
Why caring for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do for our childrenThis conversation may completely change the way you think about tantrums, emotions and your own reactions.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey Sainsbury's. We get through so many snacks. Have you got anything to help me save?

0:04.6

Well, we're always matching and lowering prices. So hundreds of Sainsbury's fresh fruit,

0:09.4

veg, and everyday products are price matched to Aldi. And every week with Necta, you can save money

0:14.4

on thousands of the products your family loves. So you can snack away knowing you're saving money.

0:20.0

Sainsbury's, good food for all of us.

0:22.1

Selected products, Aldi Price Match, not in NNI.

0:24.3

Nectar prices require nectar account.

0:25.8

Terms at sainsbrees.co.com slash aldi price match and nectar.com slash prices terms.

0:31.2

Do you think this is the hardest time to be a mother?

0:34.4

Right now?

0:34.9

Yeah.

0:35.3

I don't know what it's like to be a mother doing Britain as industrialization times with

0:40.6

long hours at factories and all that.

0:43.2

So, I mean, but since the 70s with the increasing neoliberalization of the economy,

0:49.8

the austerity, the cutback on social programs, the cutbacks in education, the loss of support.

0:56.7

This is the hardest, and the increasing stresses on people and the need to fulfill these

1:01.8

multiple roles has become very hard to be a mother.

1:05.5

Absolutely, and that's the experience that I hear time and time again from, you know,

1:09.3

I work with hundreds of mothers on this sort of

1:11.1

stuff. So I just wanted to look back around about some other things that we were talking about.

1:14.7

It just piques my personal passion so much, which is around these adaptations and meeting our

1:20.5

children's needs. And if there's someone listening who is thinking, I want to change this,

...

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