This TED Talk features journalist and author Peggy Orenstein, recorded live at TED Women 2016.

For several years now, we've been engaged in a national debate about sexual assault on campus.

No question.

It's crucial that young people understand the ground rules for consent.

But that's where the conversation about sex is ending.

And in that vacuum of information, the media and the internet, that new digital street corner,

are educating our kids for us.

If we truly want young people to engage safely, ethically, and yes, enjoyably,

it's time to have open, honest discussion about what happens after yes.

And that includes breaking the biggest taboo of all and talking to young people about women's capacity for and entitlement to sexual pleasure.

Yeah.

Come on, ladies. I spent three years talking to girls ages 15 to 20 about their

attitudes and experience of sex. And what I found was that while young women may feel entitled to

engage in sexual behavior, they don't necessarily feel entitled to enjoy it.

Take the sophomore at the Ivy League College who told me, I come from a long line of smart,

strong women. My grandmother was a firecracker. My mom is a professional. My sister and I are

loud, and that's our form of feminine power.

She then proceeded to describe her sex life to me, a series of one-off hookups, starting when she

was 13, that were not especially responsible, not especially reciprocal, and not especially

enjoyable. She shrugged.

I guess we girls are just socialized to be these docile creatures

who don't express our wants or needs.

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