Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, BTR.org. I'm Anne. I'm sure you remember what it was like when you were searching for help, maybe for your husband, hoping to find the right program or therapist. That's why I started podcasting. I supported my husband through seven years of pornography addiction recovery and not one therapist during that time told me I was experiencing emotional

and psychological abuse and sexual coercion. I didn't want any other woman on the planet to be in

the dark. If you're like the majority of my listeners, you're experiencing the type of abuse that's

invisible and difficult to wrap your head around. Your husband is using porn or having

affairs or lying to you, and you're getting the same bad advice about how to improve communication

or your relationship. If you need support from women who totally understand, check out our daily

group session schedule at BTR.org slash group. We'd love to see you in a session today. One simple, anonymous way to help spread the word

is to click, follow, or subscribe to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast on your favorite

podcasting app. While you're there, every five-star rating helps make this podcast more visible

and will help save other women from getting the wrong kind of help, like a couple

program that will make this type of abuse worse.

For those of you who follow or subscribe to this podcast, thank you so much.

Your support means so much to me.

Let's continue our conversation now with Sheila.

Can you talk about these popular Christian resources and some of the main themes that you saw

that were really unhealthy for women? Yeah, well, over and over again, one of the biggest ones

is summed up in a book called Love and Respect, where the author says, if your husband is

typical, he has a need, you don't have. And that says so much. Like, first of all,

it says sex is for the guy. It's not for the woman. It phrases sex in terms of his need rather than just a

drive. You know, I don't believe sex is a need. I think we all have a sex drive, but it's not a need.

And when we talk about sex as a need, then we we all have a sex drive, but it's not in need. And when we talk about sex

as a need, then we frame it as something which she would be depriving him if she ever said no.

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