Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now, and you're listening to the Flying Free

podcast, a support resource for women of faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden

emotional and spiritual abuse.

Welcome to episode 133 of the Flying Free Podcast.

One of the questions I hear all the time on social media, on my blog, on my podcast, and in my programs is how do I tell the difference between

an abuser and a normal person?

Because I mean, I sometimes yell. Sometimes I want my husband to do what I want him to do, am I being controlling?

Sometimes I get angry and annoyed. Sometimes I'm critical and judgy towards others. Maybe everyone is an abuser. And it kind of makes me feel bad that we're all just broken people.

Maybe it's better if we just keep trying to help one another and forget about labeling people and just understand that everyone is just trying to make it in this life.

And if I married a mean man, maybe if I'm nicer and more empathetic he'll change. Doesn't love change everything?

That all sounds like a beautiful story full of love and hope and pink cotton candy on a stick. If you throw in the words

forgiveness and grace you've practically got yourself a new chapter of the Bible.

I can see the gears turning in your brain. You're wondering how I can explain away all these

lovely things but I'm gonna do no such thing. All those lovely things are true but

it's a glass of lemonade with a tiny little mouse turt at the bottom.

Sorry Charlie, but I'm all about the lemonade.

Just leave out the poopies.

So, today I'm going to help you understand how to tell the difference

between an abusive individual and a normal person with

garden variety problems and we're going to keep all the pretty parts about love and

forgiveness and hope and get rid of the turd too. It'll be delicious when we're done, I promise.

Remember when you were in the fourth grade

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